How To Jinx Yourself Into A Sleepless Night:

  1. Tell the Spouse Thingy that you've been falling asleep within 5 minutes of turning the lights out.
  2. Further state that you're sleeping a solid 9.5 hours.
  3. Get online and tell the world that your bed turned out to be pretty spiffy after all.

If you do just these three simple things, then you will crawl into your nice, warm, broken-in bed, where you will suddenly be Wide Awake. You will get out of bed 2.5 hours later, check email, get back in bed, watch TV, cursing the fact that there is nothing worthwhile on at 3:30 in the freaking morning. When you do drift off around 5 a.m., it will be fitfull sleep, interrupted frequently by the cat sitting next to your head saying things like "So. Ya gonna get up and feed us or what? I know you're awake I saw an eye open. Get up and feed us. Please?"

There ya go. Lessons on jinxing oneself...

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