18 August 2011

Why Thump, you have surely thought, you rarely discuss the bones of writing. Most people talk about the nitty gritty of their jobs. Why do you not? Plus, I have this friend who wrote this thing and it’s really good, so I gave him your email address and he’s going to send it to you so you can admire it and tell him how wonderful it is.


Stop thinking.

Ok, I realize you’ve probably never wondered why I don’t frequently talk about the bones of writing. Why not? For the same reason I don’t typically talk about it. It’s kind of freaking boring. Writing, it’s fun. You get to make shit up. Talking about the details? Zzzzzz.

But Thump, you’re thinking. I love to write and I need help, especially with grammar and style, and the books I can find about it have these really big words and they’re all like, stupid and shit.

Yeah, I’ve noticed there are a whole lot of grammatically challenged people out there trying to write. How have I noticed? Because other people keep giving them my email address and telling their writer friends that OF COURSE Thump will read your magnificent tome and tell you it’s awesome, and then tell you how to fix it.

People? Stop doing that. Please. Let’s forget the fact that your friend can’t write his way out of a second grade spelling test; I have limited time to dedicate to reading, and I’d rather plop down with a good book than your second cousin’s best friend’s tale about zombie vampires saving the world during the apocalypse. Especially since your second cousin’s best friend can’t even spell “zombie” and has serious issues with pronouns, idioms, and kapitaliZation.


So you want to write, but the basics are a little mind boggling and books about grammar and story structure and the like make you want to scream.

Get this book.

The Elements of F*cking Style.

It hits every major point, and you won’t want to curl into a giant ball of Oh This Sucks while you read it. Bonus: you’ll get it. And you’ll laugh, because this is totally how you wanted your 8th grade English teacher to present the material.

You’re welcome.

And seriously…stop sending people my email address.


Terri said...

I saw this on another blog and thought she had been photoshopping again. I MUST have this book! I will never, ever, cross my heart and hope to die give your email address to an "aspiring writer."

Angel, Kirby and Max said...

People should check around and join a writers group. My Dad did that and they helped him with all the issues he had! He had to self publish, but he did get one book completed!

Gemini and Ichiro said...

My human only has the elements of style. I bet that's why she doesn't write as well as you. Although she has finished another rough draft and well she HAS your email but she plans to use it only to find out the name of a good editor she can PAY because she plans to kindle direct... :)!

Christie Critters said...

I will check this book out (and most probably purchase it) as it sounds like a nice change from my husband's "world at war channel" evening's entertainment!

Just Ducky said...

When someone contacts you for help, send them back your fee schedule. Like editing help $500/hour. Spell checking $200/hour. Story structure $1000/hour.

Good help is not free!

The Whiskeratti said...

Oh, we like Derby's idea! It's purrfect.

Sleepypete said...

Lol - know what you mean.

I enjoy my job because I know that the effort we're putting in leads to some seriously cool toys at the end.

But the details of how it's done ? We had 4 people in a meeting room for a telecon today who were seriously losing the will to live :-) (me included) That's when we weren't cautiously eyeing the person who gets hugely cranky when he's a minute late for his lunch (however he was snacking during the meeting so we weren't That nervous)