16 August 2014

I am in line for the self checkout at Walmart. Behind me is a guy that's practically followed me up and down the aisles, and near him is a woman I've seen around a lot, mostly at Starbucks. The guy apparently thinks I'm totally deaf.
Him: Fucking faggot freak.
Her: Huh?
Him: I hate faggots. (I can see him out of the corner of my eye, he nodded in my direction)
Her: Wow. Her husband is going to be surprised.
Me: snickers audibly.
Random asshole stomps off, presumably to another line. Yes, I thanked her. No, it's not the first time someone has brought up my marital status when countered with someone being a bigoted assmunch. I really don't care if people assume I'm gay; so what? I don't care if people think I'm different; I probably am. I do care about the underlying anger when someone says it that way, and I appreciate how other people can drop them like flies with just a simple sentence.

Not sure what I would have done if he'd said it to my face.

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 Asked by a friend:
The Parkinson's angle; if you suffered from something--not necessarily that--that locked you into your body, would you still want to live?

Barring anything else...yeah, I think I would. If I still have my mind, I think I'd be okay with being stuck inside my body if I'm not in additional pain. My brain is a freaking fun place to be most of the time; I might not be able to sit and write, but if I can still create those things in my head? Of course I'd want to live. I'd feel bad for my caretakers, but I would want to live. And they damn well better know that I want to watch Doctor Who.

Pretty much...give me a TV tuned to what you know I like, music you know I like when that's not possible, audio books, and chocolate every now and then, and I'll be okay. There are about 200 worlds spinning inside my brain, and I'm comfortable there.

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It's another one of those days...

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I should go clean the bathroom, but...meh. I need to mop the kitchen floor, but...meh. 

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My birthday is in 10 days. Hopefully this will end this years' How freaking old am I? mindfark. I get confused a bit every year, because most of the time the Spouse Thingy and I are the same age, but for 4 months he's "older" and I start thinking of myself as the same age, and then my brain trips on itself and I have no idea how old I am.


It makes sense to me.

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I really need to get up and do something. My ass is starting to hurt from sitting here.


Kitty said...

Why is it that when people see a woman with short hair and not as feminine (in my case) and automatically assume that we are gay? I never understood that. One time, while playing ice hockey in a women's tournament one of the players checked into me and said "get out of my way dyke!" I yelled back: "tell my boyfriend that as it will be news to him!"

Unknown said...

From what I've read and the things you've posted, I'd have to say...your mind wouldn't be a bad place to be locked up in. Lol. Thanks for sharing

TheWilsonZoo said...

My husband's birthday is in January, mine in May, so I know exactly what you mean. I finally gave up and started calling myself his age. At 49, being another year older a few months early just doesn't seem matter any more!

carmilevy said...

It never ceases to sadden me when the meanness of others is on such obvious display. I feel sorry for the guy: so much hatred in his soul. The whole "we're all different" ethos seems to be lost on him. Pathetic.

Seriously, when will we all learn?

In the meantime, I hope you never change. The way you live your life - on your own terms, with no excuses to anyone else - has always been an inspiration to me.

Mighty Kitty said...

Thump, you put hope and joy in my life. To me, you count for a great deal. Keep on keeping on for all of us!

Sleepypete said...

I suspect one or two people at work think I'm gay. Whenever they see me with someone, it's Cyberkitten and I'm waiting to give him a lift somewhere.

But - they don't know my secret. My Big Grin only seems to come out for the Ladies.

I'm not telling them that though, they can think what they want to think ! And there are a few bigoted people in my team too who I have very little to do with cos bigots aren't worth my time.

PS Age - I'm approaching a milestone ... I'll need another person's help counting my age cos two will run out of fingers and toes.