Dear Person Who Is Offended By Thumper’s Butt Crack,
I have to ask, how close is your nose to the monitor of your computer while you’re online? And at what resolution is your screen set? I ask because it’s pretty hard for the average person to tell by that little picture that Thumper even has a butt crack. Did you save the image to your hard drive and blow it up to double check? I can see where you would, wanting to make sure that nothing besides butt crack was showing. Thumper is completely nude in that picture and, well, other things might be visible if you looked hard enough.
While you were inspecting the picture so closely, did you happen to notice what Thumper is looking at on the computer in the background? Because, honestly, I can’t remember. Thumper had this kitty porn phase and that would be really embarrassing if we were displaying various, um, kitties for the whole world to see. Gosh, there might have even been a hairless kitty or two amongst the perusals (and for the record, I don’t find hairless kitties to be particularly attractive. It’s like looking at a Chernobyl mutant.)
Not that I want to offend anyone out there who has a hairless kitty. Just…don’t they feel kind of weird? I imagine petting one would be like stroking some old man’s arm. Or something.
Anyway. I appreciate the email and all, but really, Thumper does have quite a bit of fur to cover up all the naughty bits, and, well, it is a nice ass, if I do say so myself.
Oh, and if you’re further offended, please accept my apologies. It’s almost 9:30 p.m. and I haven’t eaten since around noon, so my blood sugar is a little low, and my judgment is probably off.