Random Thoughts, Part 5,690,999

Just because you’re a celebrity, that doesn’t make you a political whiz. Save the displays of ignorance for your private audiences (read: family and friends), like the rest of us do. We pays our monies to see you entertain us, not have you try to educate and indoctrinate us. For that we have teachers, TIME, Newsweek, The New York Times, CNN, Fox News, 150,000 blogs, and FARK.

I am a much more impatient person than I used to think I was.

Vicodin does actually work when it’s almost 3 a.m. and you’re in intense pain and can’t sleep because of it. So why it doesn’t work when the pain is generally quite a bit less, I don’t know…

Having a stray cat be thrilled to see you is, in an odd way, kind of a kick. Knowing he doesn’t want anything more than to be petted for 5.7 seconds, and he wants you to be the one doing the petting, is a funky little boost to the self esteem.

Purchasing a swimsuit 2 sizes too small is an act of faith. Ordering it online is an act of potential insanity. That would make one (ahem, me)…faithfully insane? Or just utterly stupid…

At some point, you can convince yourself that an I Want has truly become an I Need.

No comments: