For whatever reason, my 9th grade health teacher, Coach Kaufmann chose to share this little presumed factoid with us:

Once you learn to dress yourselves, you develop a preference much like handedness, and for the rest of your life you will put the same side sock on first, and the same side shoe on first. Chances are, if you're right handed, you will always put your left sock and your left shoe on first, and you will do that until the day you die.

This was the same teacher who grabbed a kid out of his chair and forced him to dry-shave with a Bic razor because he had a little bit of stubble at 11 a.m.

He once gave me demerits for mumbling "Dangit" under my breath when I got a quiz back with a grade less than stellar; I wanted 100% and wasn't happy about it. I wasn't questioning the grading, I was pissed at myself. I was never sure why he turned and practically spit venom at me; I know he knew exactly what word I had uttered because he repeated it back.

Wonder-teacher also kept a ruler close at hand, and out of the blue he would whack it hard against the top of his desk, laughing when half the class jumped and squeaked.

For the most part, I considered Coach Kaufmann to be a giant tool. He got the material across, and we learned, but in between soaking up the facts of health and dodging his personality, most of the class was imagining ways to set him on fire without getting caught.

So when he shared that little factoid (something I've never been sure about) I was determined that would never be true for me. I was not a robot, dammit, and I could put my socks on in any freaking order I wanted. I worked at not repeating the order of things.

To this day I still make an effort to mix it up. I thought about that this morning when putting my socks and shoes on. Yesterday it was left sock, right sock, left shoe, right shoe. Today it was right sock, right shoe, left sock left shoe. And while I was tying them, I actually had the thought Suck it, Coach Kaufmann zip through my head.

Stop laughing. I'm not that strange.

And I bet tomorrow while you're getting dressed, you think about what goes on your feet first...

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