Things I Knew But Re-Learned This Weekend

1. If you consistently leave the top down on the convertible, sooner or later a bird will poop inside your car.
2. If the bird does not do a fly-over bombing, it will land on the back seat and wipe its feathery little butt on the upholstery.
3. Garages house many things with multiple legs.
4. Black widows are among them.
5. When it’s 87 outside, and you’re trying to reorganize the garage, you will sweat. A lot.
6. Before the re-organization realizes its full effect, it will look like the garage threw up.
7. When carrying a bunch of plastic containers out of WalMart, there will be 20 old or infirm people shuffling in microsteps, blocking the door.
8. Patience is, indeed, a virtue.
9. Goodwill wants donations on their terms only.
10. Goodwill is lucky more people don’t get fed up and toss potential donations into dumpsters instead.

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