Why, yes, yes I am. And I thank those who took the time to email me to point out. And to be fair, no one was mean about it. Just abrasive in their honesty, and anonymous to boot. But I don’t mind, because it does bring forth an important point: I have stated many times that I hate whining, yet here I am in a very public venue, doing just that. I hate pettiness, but here I am, being quite petty, bringing it to my blog where the only point of view offered is mine.* That is whiny and petty and hypocritical, and I’m very aware of that.
Human nature. Sue me.
Well no, don’t…I don’t exactly have the resources to pose a legal defense right now. But the point is that I’m not unaware of the absurdity of what I do and say. I either write it down and get it out, or I grab the cat, force him to cuddle up with me, and I tell him what’s bothering me. The cat is psychotic and bites, so…
You people seem very tolerant. And you don’t bite or sit on my head in retaliation.
And as to why I should even care what a few—very few—people think… Again, human nature. I think we all want to be liked on some level, and when we think we have friends, it hurts when they turn their backs on us. It’s easier to shrug off some people, usually when you don’t have much invested in them to begin with. But when you do have something invested, you trust them enough to open up and let them see parts of you others never see, of course it’s going to matter.
And here’s the thing: it matters because the behaviors that piss me off are behaviors I hate in myself. And it matters, to, because the people reflecting that back at me have no clue that they’re also reacting to something within themselves. I don’t think they’re trying to see the bigger picture.
The things we despise in others are the things we dislike to most in ourselves.
But it really is that simple.
It’s also simple in that those behaviors can make us not trust our own judgments…but that’s a whole other rant/post/uneven musing.
So, sure, I can sit here and whine and complain, even though I really hate chronic whining and complaining. I can be petty and hypocritical. I don’t like that about myself, but it is what it is.
If I ever become better than that, yea for me. That will mean I’ve reached a place with which I can be satisfied. But then that wouldn’t exactly be human nature, and I’d probably die or something, like get all smug about it, which would totally ruin my moment of self enlightenment.
*Comments could have been disable, but I chose not to...those involved are free to jump in and state their side, defend themselves, tell me what a freaking idiot I am… they know this blog exists and I know they read it, or at least they used to. And it would be nice if the person who holds me responsible for someone else 'leaving' would justify their anger…