TMI =or= You Can Lead A Wabbit To Water…

…and if her DDAVP has worn off, she will drink. Copiously. She will drain whatever reservoir of liquid is available and want for more. She will take your beverage, drain it dry, and then will commence knocking old ladies and children onto their bee-hinds in order to take their drinks, too.

Okay, so I wouldn’t go that far. I’ll take the Spouse Thingy’s drink, but I tend to leave small children and adults out of my liquid frenzy when it hits.

And that’s been happening a lot more lately.* I used to have breakthrough on the medication once or twice a week; now it happens 4 or 5 times a week (and yes, I will mention this to my doc when I see him in March. It probably means nothing more than I’ll have to increase how many times a day I take it.)

Today I went out to get cat food. That’s it, just cat food. I got to WalMart (’cause they have PsychoKitty’s favorite cheaper than Safeway) and it hit me. I needed something to drink, and I needed it right that minute. I was in the pet department, eyeing the fish tanks with a longing usually reserved for massive amounts of chocolate. If there had been a hose nearby…

I bought a diet Coke and drained it in about 2.25 seconds.
No, I’m not kidding.

I got halfway home and realized…omg, if I don’t pee in the next 2 minutes, I’ll be swimming home. Then it occurred to me I hadn’t defrosted anything for dinner (no, I don’t know why that particular thought popped into my head) so I turned at the next street and went to Safeway.

Safeway has a nice restroom. Usually clean.

After I washed my hands I realized I needed something to drink again. Badly. Junky withdrawal badly. I rushed through the store, grabbing a ham and a soft drink, paid, and then sat in the car, guzzling that sweet, sweet diet soda.

We live less than half a mile from Safeway. No, I could not have made it home. And halfway between Safeway and home, I needed to pee again. I didn’t even put the top up on the car when I got home; I ran inside and headed for the closest bathroom. And I made it. Yay for me.

And then I drank. Guzzled. Complete with gross slurping sounds. Two diet Sierra Mists.
Yes, two.

And no, when the thirsties hit me (such as the Spouse Thingy refers to it) I don’t head for water. Water would make sense, right? But water doesn’t quench the thirst (nothing does) and I can drink too much of it too quickly. Since I hate throwing up—the inevitable result of drinking until your stomach can no longer hold any more—I drink diet soda. The fizz slows me down. And it tastes better.

So…being the wise wabbit that I am, after I belched loud enough to scare the cat, I took a hit of the DDAVP, and within 2 minutes all was calm. I have had only 12 ounces of fluid since then, and that was 8 hours ago.

In an odd way, when the DDAVP wears off in the evening and I just let it go (taking it just before bedtime, so I don’t have to get up in the middle of the night to pee) I like the thirsties and sucking down can after can of diet soda. For an hour or two, it’s a warped sort of enjoyable.

No, I never said I was sane.
But surprisingly, I am now thirsty…

*For those not tormented by previous long missives on the subject: Thumper had a pituitary tumor a couple of years ago that left her with diabetes insipidus, a condition that causes the brain to no longer manufacture the hormone Vasopressin. This is the hormone that tells the kidneys when to hold water and let it go. Without it, life is one long drinking and peeing fest. The medication for it, DDAVP, keeps the violently painful thirst and marathon peeing in check. Usually. The tumor was benign, and not a type likely to ever occur. In fact, being that I was 40 and my child was 19, and the tumor usually only occurs in women who have just had a baby, I shouldn’t have had it in the first place. Go figure.

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