Sunday

Holy Thunder Thighs, Batman!

I wanna go to fat camp.
Yep. Fat Camp.

While avoiding anything that resembled work today, I channeled surfed onto MTV while they were running something called “True Life.” This one followed a group of teens (and a 23 year old) during six weeks at fat camp. Nope, not being politically incorrect; they were pulling any punches, they called it fat camp.

Damn, they looked like they were having fun. For six weeks these kids had a shitload of things to do, from Tae Bo to water skiing to tennis—all physical activities, sure, but it looked like fun.. The kind of fun you don’t get slogging through a workout on your own, trying not to cry from the terminal boredom of a treadmill or elliptical trainer. The kind of fun we had as kids, when it wasn’t working out, but playing.

I wanna go.

I’m sure there are fat camps for adults, but being adults, we wouldn’t want to call it that. I suppose they’re called “spas” or something equally nice. And I suppose they’re not nearly as much fun, more working out and very little playing. And I’m willing to bet they’re hellaciously expensive.

I probably just spelled hellaciously wrong.

There’s about 80 pounds of ugly body fat clinging to my frame that I’d like to lose. And I want to have fun doing it. Six to twelve weeks at camp sounds like a great way to go about it. No worries about being home to feed and drug the dog, clean the cat box, do dishes and laundry and vacuuming… Just a whole bunch of playing tennis and hiking, taking a Tae Bo class here and there. Eat what someone else cooks for me.

Yeah. I wanna go to fat camp.

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