Saturday

8 May 2010

For years, I have resisted the wearing of shorts. For one, my legs are blindingly white. I have the kind of white legs that people can't help but comment on and make fun of... “Are you part albino???” That doesn't bother me because, hey, they are white.

But...I also have fat calves. No, that's not a self-involved slam on my weight and a whine about chunkiness; my calves have always been fat. Even when I was training in TKD and was thin, fit, about 15% body fat, I had fat calves. They were big enough then that I had issues with shin guards and getting a pair that didn't cut my circulation off.

I hated shorts back then, too, because cripes, who wants to show off albino-white flabby calves?

Hell, who wants to see that?

When I was younger, I could handle the discomfort of summers spent in long pants, but now? I went out this morning to Trikke, it was only 70 degrees, but I was in jeans and after just a mile and a half realized I was miserably hot. Hot and getting nauseated. I sat on the first bench I found, slugged back some Power Aid, and really began to wonder how the hell I was going to make it home.

I did another mile and was really feeling it; it might have only been 70 but the sun was eating down on me and it felt like 85. I stopped to drink more, whined to myself that the giant bottle I thought I had didn't really hold much, and started kicking myself for forgetting my earphones so I could Trikke to some music (that helps, it really does.)

So I headed home. I only got a total of 3.25 miles in, but was overheated enough that I felt sick to my stomach.

Later, when the Spouse Thingy was awake and wanted to take his Trikke out, I threw some shorts on and went with him. It was warmer by then, but I had my tunes, and I had on shorts, I didn't feel the heat at all.

I felt the wind...holy crap I felt the wind...but I didn't overheat and didn't start feeling nauseous.

So. I really have to get over this thing about my calves and just wear the damn shorts. I will never have slender calves, not ever, and I'm not typically one who gives a damn about what other people think, so I'm embracing the comfort of blinding the world with my abject whiteness.

This would, however, be a good time for you to invest in sunscreen stock. Probably Coppertone or Banana Boat. I'm gonna be buying a lot of it.

10 comments:

april said...

haha, this is totally me - first, I call my legs "translucent". My hubby says his are the same way and I tell him that his plethora of black hair on his legs makes them look not-so-white. It's not socially acceptable for me to go out that way :) Also, I also have wide calves (not fat, per se, more muscle-y, but I have thin ankles so it makes them look even bigger). I cannot wear boots, because I can't get them over my calves.

You know what changed for me this summer? Being pregnant in 90 degree weather. I now own and wear two pair of shorts. I'm amazed at myself. :) I think no one cares as much as we do about how we look in our shorts (plus, I see so many people that looks so much worse in their shorts than I do, and that comforts me, haha). There's always someone who looks worse, and they don't care either.

The Furry Bambinos said...

Wear the shorts! I too inherited large calves from my Dad, instead of dainty calves from my Mom. And I was never one of the cool in-crowd people in school. Why should I care now what other people think?

And hey, if you skip the sunscreen, pretty soon the calves won't be white anymore! ;-)

Happy Mother's Day!

Mom Sue to The Furry Bambinos

caircair said...

Besides, people are too busy worrying about how their calves look to even notice your own. At least that's been my experience.

las794 said...

I refer to mine as "the fatted calves". They are definitely my grandma's piano legs. I don't wear shorts in public, either, but that's more because I don't shave (it makes me itch like mad) and I don't need the stares & snippy remarks.

The Whiskeratti said...

I like wearing capris. Also because I'm short and they are the only pants that I don't have to get altered, but they are very good for summer - lightweight, comfy, and better than shorts for me.

Blond Girl said...

capris made of lightweight cotton or linen are great. Very popular right now and easy to find. Perfect alternative!

Pizza Girl said...

I have chunky calves too, the kind with that weird flabby bit behind my knee. I really only wear jeans but when forced by circumstance to wear anything else I just keep repeating to myself over and over again, "People won't know I'm self-conscious unless I act it."

Thumper said...

Honestly, you'd have to shoot me before you got me into capris... never gonna happen willingly...

Kaese Klan said...

I found capris sweatpants at Fashion Bug last year, and I love them. Not tight, and very comfortable.

Monty Graycat said...

I have never actually met anyone paler than me. Freckles give me a tiny bit of colour, but honestly, I am one step away from albino.
A few years ago, I was wearing a blu shirt, and didn't realize there was a tiny hole in it. Someone thought I was wearing a white shirt underneath... no, that's just my SKIN.
I have trouble finding make up that is as light as my skin.
Us pale kids need to stick together! And share the 60 spf sunblock!