I have nothing green to wear today. Pinch me because of it, and I will break your fingers.

Well, ok, no I won't, but I will glare at you and say things like "Are you on crack?" and "What the hell?" and "Do you want to meet Jesus today?"

All right, I probably won't do that either, but if you pinch me and make me cry, I bet you'll feel bad.

Happy St. Patrick's Day...I'm off to the gym, where people pinch at their own risk...

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