I’m cheating on my Priloesec.
Oh, I still take it every night as prescribed, but I’m sneaking the Maalox on the side.
Yes, I am a gastronomical slut. I will do just about anything to quell the ever-increasing dull ache in my gut, including chugging mint flavored milky-like wonder. I still like my Prilosec, yes I do, but I need more, and baby, Maalox delivers. I am in love with Maalox. It soothes me and makes my breath so kissable-fresh.
From the virtual mailbag:
Q: Why do you tell the whole world that you live in Vacaville CA? Don’t you worry about people knowing where you are?
A: I tell them that because I really live in Provo, Utah.
Q: Why not just stick a Paypal DONATE button up?
A: I’m a pimp, not a whore…
Q: My cat emailed your cat because she wants to be his special friend, so why hasn’t he answered?
A: Your cat frightens my cat, to be honest. He was interested until she mentioned something about ‘doing it’ and ‘dogs,’ and, well, hating all things canine, he just ran from the computer screaming something about rabies and fleas and catnip laced whipped cream…
Q: When is Max’s next book coming out?
A: Oh sure, ask for his book… Look for the new one early next month. Don’t worry, I’ll pimp for him, too. Yeah, I have no shame.
Q: I’ll pay money to see a naked Thumper!
A: Thumper lounging on the hood of the car with no clothes:
Oh and what happened to Stuff On My Cat???? I need my fix of put-upon kitties!