Dear Lady In The Scooter At The Grocery Store,

Think of the aisles as streets, and your nifty little red scooter as a car, with all the applicable, logical traffic rules. Think of that middle aisle that cuts thorough the center of all the aisles as a major thoroughfare. You wouldn’t just blindly speed out into a thoroughfare with slowing down, would you? Same logic applies in the grocery store. Slow down and look before proceeding into potential traffic. And shame on you for yelling at the kid whose cart you ran into. Sniping “these things don’t slow down or stop easy!” is not an excuse. Thinking people slow down before they approach a blind intersection. And nice people don’t yell at teenagers who are trying to apologize profusely even though it’s not their fault. You were mean, and that’s sad.

Dear Lady In The Other Store Walking Directly In Front Of Me,

Now, I know you didn’t even know I was walking behind you, so you didn’t know you were annoying the crap out of me by matching every side step I took in my effort to get around you, but come on, it was funny when the old guy walking towards you said “Well, if you’re gonna dance with her, turn around and make it easier!” Really, you’ll laugh later, I swear.

Dear Young Couple At The Library,

Yeah, your kid is cute. Adorable even. But please teach him how to use a Library Voice. You know, by example. He takes his cues from you and his cues today were Be Loud So Everyone Knows Our Business. Oh, and I’m sorry your butt has been itchy. Bet that little slice of info is something you’d prefer he hadn’t shared.


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