Thumper Thinks Out Loud

=blinks=

Do you live in an upstairs apartment?
Do you?

Do you have downstairs neighbors?
Do you?

Musings from a downstairs neighbor:

Remember, always, that The People Downstairs can hear you. Doing everything. Yes, EVERYTHING. When you do laundry at 3 a.m., the people below can hear, and they do not appreciate it. When you run your dishwasher at midnight, they can hear it, and they do not appreciate it. When you vacuum at 7 a.m., they can hear and do not appreciate it. And when you have sex on a squeaky, squeaky bed, they really do not appreciate it.

They’re timing you, you know.
And laughing at you.

And if you don’t stop cleaning your apartment in the middle of the night, running the vacuum at Way Too Early, doing laundry when the rest of the world is asleep, your downstairs neighbors are going to tape the sounds of that squeaky, squeaky bed, install a stereo that plays on a loop (leaving ample silence in between playbacks), and play the tape for the entire apartment complex to hear, making sure they know from whose apartment those sounds emit. And just how long it doesn’t take for you to make those sounds.

=blinks=