Thumper Thinks Out Loud

(mom mode)

All right, so I’m sitting at the BX food court, reading the first few pages of the book I’d just bought, taking occasional sips of a Diet Coke with way too much ice in it, when a couple of older teenagers—they might have been 20—plopped down at the booth in front of me.

Loud, talking with food in their mouths, they were kind of hard to ignore. And the first thing I heard through the grinding of greasy pizza was “Can your fucking believe it? My fucking old man is riding my ass about getting a fucking job. Like I’m fucking going to bag fries at McDonald’s for fucking minimum wage.”

Well now. That’s a whole lot of fucking.

“No shit,” was his companions thoughtful reply. “Dude, you can make better nickel than slinging grease.”

Grunt. “Yeah, I’m not some loser who has to take some fucking low life job wearing a goddamned paper hat.”

How sweet and wholesome their repartee was. As they slurped and scarfed and spoke through gobs of cheese and tomato sauce, they both agreed that anyone working in fast food was obviously too defective to get a “better” job; that if they both just waited the six figure income would leap into their laps; and obviously, parental units requiring their offspring to get up and get a job are insipid, soulless, vile morons not worth much use of their memory cells on any given day.

It was enlightening, for sure.

Here’s the thing, boys and girls: there’s not a thing wrong with being the guy behind the counter asked “You want fries with that?” There’s no shame in bagging fries—or groceries for that matter—and there’s nothing lame about being willing to spend your evening delivering pizza or changing some 90 year old guy’s Depends in the nursing home down the street.

So they pay minimum wage. And they’re not glamorous jobs.

But I tell you what: it’s easier to get the better job, the one you want, when you’re actually working, even if it is mucking through the fry grease at McD’s or Wendy’s. And while you’re trying to get that better job, you’re earning a paycheck—and minimum wage is better than no wage at all.

Oh yeah…while I’m pontificating… Sit up straight, dress nicely for the job interview even if it is “just” fast food, don’t pick your nose, fart, or belch during the job interview, and for God’s sake, don’t say the word “fucking” even once.

(/mom mode)