It only took a smidge over three weeks, but I got my first real snotty comment about the pink hair today. Sure, people have stared, laughed, pointed, and have been taken aback--and I expect that, because hey, chubby middle aged woman with very pink hair--but I didn't expect the first rude comment to be thrown in my face like a cup of scalding-hot-frak-you.
Guys, I wish I was making this shit up.
As I was leaving Walmart, having purchased the Spouse Thingy's requested bubble wrap and baby oil (speculation as to why he needs them is occurring on Facebook RIGHT NOW! Go join!), an old woman was inching her way through the crosswalk, leaning heavily on a cane. She took one look at me, scowled, and then spit out, "How can you do that to yourself? You should be ashamed."
I actually looked behind me, because really? What the frak?
My intelligent retort? "Whut?"
"You look like a damned fool with that hair and those...tattoos."
"You ruined the skin God gave you and that hair is disgusting."
A flash of the tagline on reddit's tattoo subreddit zipped through my head. My body is a temple and I'm just decorating the walls. I wish I'd said it, but all that came out was, "Yeah, well..."
At this point, I don't even know why I'm still standing there. If she'd been my age, I would have shrugged and walked off, probably with an expletive or two. Truthfully, I haven't outgrown the whole respect your elders thing, and tend to let people that much older than myself off the hook for some of the vile crap that spews forth.
Not sure what I'll do when I'm that old.
"Is none of your business."
And that's when I walked off, because the next words out of my mouth would have been ill-spirited and very unkind...plus she had that cane and I was fairly certain she wouldn't have a problem about whacking me with it. There is no defending yourself against a fragile old woman; even if it's warranted, you wind up looking like the bad guy.
Not that I've ever beaten up an old person...but you know I'm right.
The thing is, a couple years ago that might have really bothered me. Now...sure, she's a bigoted dipwad who has probably just lost the filters that years ago would have kept that opinion teetering on the tip of her tongue as she bit down hard with her front teeth, but it didn't tick me off.
And if my feelings had been hurt, the teenager two minutes later would have totally made up for it. As I loaded the Spouse Thingy's baby oil and bubblewrap into the trunk--keep guessing, you kinky little freaks--a 15-16 year old walked by with her mother and squealed, "OhymygodIloveyourhair!"
As I thanked her, she turned to her mother and said, "You should do that! You would look great!"
Mom muttered about not having the nerve and they continued on. If my brain worked fast enough I think I might have asked them to find the old lady and run her over with a shopping cart, but I suppose it's a good thing I can't think that fast.
Oh, come on. I wouldn't have.