8 December 2011

It doesn't look bad, but it stings like a farker. And you can only see about half of it...those scratches are actually teeth marks and there are two puncture wounds above them from his upper teeth, and a couple of other punctures higher on my arm from his back claws.

Buddah bites.

Seriously. Buddah.

There are times I think that cat is--at the risk of being offensive, though it's definitive in his case--slightly retarded. While I often make jokes about Max eating my face off, if it ever happens Buddah will be the more likely culprit, and it will be because he wanted to be picked up and held, and then without warning decided 2.4 minutes of it was .0001 minute too long, but instead of meowing and wiggling to get down, he attacked.

Tonight he wanted to be cuddled. I obliged. He loved it--until he didn't--and then went apeshit crazy on me. He bit hard, I put him down on the counter, he started meowing like HE was the one who had been wronged and kept moving towards me... I thought he was going to leap and rip my throat out.

I actually took a step or two back, just in case.

He does this; it's not the first time. He acts sweet and cuddly, then goes nuts, and then howls when he's being told No. We don't hit the cats, but that index finger being pointed at him and waggled while telling him'd think we were beating him, he gets so upset.

If he's sitting on top of the fake fireplace and you walk by and try to pet him, you need to be prepared to pull back a bloody stump.

If you're wearing shoes he's never seen before, he freaks out. Most of the time he runs, but once in a while he'll go after your feet.

But if you're sitting here in the chair with the computer on your lap, he'll jump up, plop down between the keyboard and your torso, and get head and chin skritches until your hand is ready to fall off. Then he's sweet and gentle...but that could change on a whim.

So yeah, if my face gets eaten off by a ticked off kitty, dont just assume it was Max.

Max bites, but he does the very soft warning bite, and if he's told no he either slinks off or he sits there and gives you this "You're a dork" look. He's a grump, but I'm not afraid of anything he'll do.

But in all honesty, sometimes?

Buddah scares the shit out of me.

I guarantee, though, once he's gotten the little freak out of his system he'll be his dorky sweet self again. Until the next time, which could be ten minutes from now or ten days.

He's either got mental issues, or he's a farking genius.


Geekwif said...

My mom had a cat like that. One minute he was sweet as pie and the next his teeth were embedded in your hand ... or leg, foot, arm, whatever he could reach. He even looked like Buddah - black, short-haired. Not sure what his problem was as they got him as a kitten and he was always treated well. It was like there was a switch in his brain that just flipped spontaneously and changed him into a completely different cat. Very strange.

las794 said...

My brother has a cat who will love on you & rub on you & then open you up. No warning, no apparent cause--just bizarre.

Cheysuli and gemini said...

This can be over stimulation--especially if it happens when you are interacting with him all loving and stuff. Some cats get that way and then they sort of go crazy. Georgia had that at a low level--where she'd get too many pets and then just turn around and nip at you--then if you didn't listen you got a major bite. She wouldn't keep coming at you but she didn't get that overstimulated. I think that Pamela Bennett Johnson (or is it Johnson-Bennett?) talks about it in one of her feline behavioral books. Basically--stop before the cat goes crazy@

Thumper said...

I'd stop if he had any way to measure his tolerance. He can go nuts in anywhere from 15 seconds to 20 minutes. Or I can just walk past him and he freaks out. You can't really stop when you haven't even started...

The weirdest part is how offended he is and how he howls like he's the one who's been hurt. It really is like a switch has been flipped...

Roses said...

My cat does this.
I can't figure out his triggers, either.
He'll "stalk" me until he gets what he feels is decent payback for whatever wrong has been done to him.

I've learned two things that make him stop (neither of which sounds safe for you to try, Thumper):
1) Play dead.
I walk away, he lunges at me, I fake a fall, he feels he's taken me down, and he's all proud of himself.
2) Blow raspberries in his face.
My cat hates that. (Who wouldn't?) But, to do this, you have to be within tongue-spitting distance, and it sounds like your face would be half-off before you'd work up enough saliva to render him offended.

Good luck.
Be careful!

Angel and Kirby said...

WOW! That is wild. Kirby is not a cuddle kitty, but sometimes I pick him up just to try, Dumb, I know, and he will start trying to turn himself inside out to get away!

Karen Jo said...

Man, Buddah is really a Jekyll-Hyde. I hope the bite doesn't get infected.

Susan S. said...

Prozac for Buddah? It's not just for people anymore.

Christie Critters said...

Speaking to the "slightly retarded" issue. Our Rufus, we are sure, lacked oxygen during the birthing process. He is as nice as the day is long (most of the time) - but every day is a new day to him...
He doesn't freak (he leaves that to his sister Katsu) but we call him "Rufus the unhinged and ungainly". Never seen such a clumsy cat... and he never learns from his "mistakes".

David E. Francis said...

Can cats have bipolar disorder?

RANGER said...

We took in a feral cat which was going to be like that, I imagine. But.

When she scratched me on purpose, I fussed at her in a rather stentorian manner until she went behind a recliner and peeked aout at me. I fussed until she no longer peeked.

After that, If she scratched or bit, we yelled OW, OW, OW in a strong voice. Believe it or not, she got the idea. Now, ten years later, we can irrigate her teeth or attend to anything the vet requires without her resenting it. She trusts us.

Not the vet, though. She has three red dots on her chart at the vet. But, if we are in the room and talking to her, the vet can treat her as needed. Go figure.

Sorry for going on at such length.

Shaggy, Scooby and Scout said...

Well who'd a'thunk that???
Don't think you've ever told us this about Buddah Butt before.
We don't have advice, other than to watch your back, and front, and head and toes, and.....!
Maybe the comment about the Prozac could be considered.

Judy (kenju) said...

I once had a cat like that. He was nuts. He'd be all cuddly and sweet and then he'd rip into me as if I were meat. We had to take him to the SPCA after I developed an allergy to his saliva, from being bitten so much.

Teri said...

Thumper, I am sorry to hear that Buddah is like that. You might want to have his heaing and eyesight checked before you resign your self to a lifetime of Crazy. I think I mentioned on my blog that Autumn was afraid of the dark - she would attack any kitty who startled her by jumping on the bed at night. We finally figured it out. Now she has a little night light and we no longer wake up to screaming cats at 3AM. There has to be a reason he is doing that (other than he is Feline).

Lita and the boys in Melbourne said...

My cat Fox used to do that and sometimes when we were sleeping and happened to roll over wrong. that boy would go for blood! I found that if i held him in my lap facing away from me (so he's actually sitting on his butt, legs out underneath him, front paws up against his chest)and waited till he let out this really dramatic sigh then he'd be ok. like he re-set the switch in his head. my nutsy psycho boy! I never thought he'd kill me but to not have him back off when i threatened his little hide was kinda worrying.