27 February 2011

You used to update the thing in the sidebar, your weight loss and I liked seeing it, it helped me think I could do it too. And your blog about it, what happened to that?

The blog was boring; I mean, if it bored me to write it, then it had to be excruciating to read, so I gave it up a long time ago. It's still there, somewhere, mocking me, reminding me that losing weight has been one of the major failures of my adult life (not quite as major has having gained the weight it the first place, but still...)

And the sidebar widget? I stopped updating it because I stopped losing weight. From July 2009 until December 2009 I dropped 50 pounds and felt great about it--and at that rate I thought I would reach my 85 pound goal by April or May 2010.

But then I just stopped losing weight. My calorie intake was the same, but nothing was happening. The answer was to increase my calorie burn, but even after training for the 3 Day walk, which meant getting my ass up every day and walking, as much as 50 miles a week, I wasn't losing.

Trust me, you want frustration? Have that happen. I ran an 800 calorie deficit most days, but the blubber stubbornly clung to me.

Then in December I wiped out on the Skki Trikke, and in the complete non-movement right after I gained a few pounds. That was expected; I really wasn't moving much, and then I threw my back out. I didn't increase my eating, though. But still, I gained.

In December I bought a Body Media calorie tracker and have been wearing it since; it keeps a very close track of how many calories I burn, and I keep very close watch on how many calories I take in. On days when I don't do much at all I'm burning 1900 calories. I'm taking in 1300-1400. On days when I walk, I'm burning 2200 or more, and I take in about 1400-1500.

There should be weight loss there.

Instead, I've gained about 15 pounds.

Go figure.

So no, I'm not updating the little chart in the sidebar. In fact, I took it down because it was like this thing poking at me and making me feel really bad.

I have a doctor's appointment in April and I'll bring it up, but honestly, my experience with trying to get a doc to listen when it comes to weight issues leaves me thinking I'll get blown off. I hope I'm wrong, but I have low expectations.


april said...

Have you tried a bonafide dietician or nutritionist instead of just your GP? I've never been to one AND I'm not real good at taking advice spouted off to me by people skinnier than me (about half the population) but If seems that if you've tried everything on your own and it's not helping, maybe it's time to talk to someone who actually can help you instead of a GP that will just tell you that you need to do it. Maybe you need more tools?

This might have come off as tactless - I've been reading you for years so I never minded the weight-loss posts or the 25 miles in a day posts, but that's the only advice I have to give, so there it is.

I've been running to try to get the weight off, myself. I really only needed to lose about 40-50 lbs (only, ha!) and I've lost 17. I know the next 20-30 lbs is going to be the hardest part, but I'm not giving myself a timeline, only running goals to meet. I'm hoping that working on exercise goals will help the weight loss goals (and yes, I did change my diet too, but not drastically - I wanted changes that I knew I wouldn't backslide too seriously from).

Sorry for writing a book here!

Thumper said...

I've seen nutritionists in the past; there's not a lot wrong with my the end it comes down to calories in/calories out, and I know I've got it nailed on that front.

The doc I see in April is my endocrinologist, not a GP. I figure the GP would just send me to see her, anyway, which is why I'm waiting.

Angel and Kirby said...

I hope they can give you answers. It is very frustrating to lose and regain over and over again!

G.G. Mueller said...

Hey, Thumper, I am in the same boat. I can lose some but it comes right back if I change anything. Colds are a good example because docs put me on steroids for my lungs. (anyone for another helping of wallpaper??)
Hang in there.
And, by the way, I don't care what you weigh. I like you just the way you are......

Sleepypete said...

Theory - Exercise is bad for morale.

Proof - all the people who have to walk further at work because the closer water boiler is broken (for over a month now!), they look really unhappy about it :-)

I know what you mean with the weight. I think mine's fixed to be between 13.5stone and 14stone. And if I do exercise, some of the muscle comes back which makes me heavier.

I should be a couple of stone lighter with my current arm muscle amount but getting there ? I doubt whether the difference between that natural weight and target weight will get me lighter enough.

If you're comfortable at a weight, that's probably what you should be - I know I get uncomfortable if I get close to that 14stone ... Some people are comfortable big, others are comfortable small. Other ones make themselves really ill trying to get small.

Lemon Stand said...

I think Sleepypete is right. I know it's not the fashion to actually have womanly curves in our society but if you are exercising right, eating right and feeling good, why look in the mirror and tell yourself you have to lose another 20 pounds? IMHO, being healthy trumps Cosmo's idea of what 'should' be attractive.

Karen Jo said...

I know how frustrating trying to lose weight can be. I hope your endrocrinologist can help you.