Stupid Things I Heard Today...(and what went through my brain...)

  • I can't be friends with her. She's nice but she's too fat. I get creeped out just looking at her. (Well, aren't you the sweetest thing...?)
  • Mixing diet Coke with regular Coke causes a chemical reaction that can make your stomach split open. (Better living through science?)
  • He's six years old. He can be home alone for a few hours. (Long enough for someone to call CPS?)
  • I don't know why he's trying so hard, he's just not smart enough even for a community college. (Gunning for Parent Of The Year, aren't you?)
  • A Mormon for President? I hate Mormons. They worship Joseph Smith. (No, they do not. He was the founder and first president of the LDS church, and that's it.)
  • If it were my kid, I'd beat the gay out of him. (If it were your kid, he'd never tell you, he'd leave home as soon as he could, and you'd probably never see him again.)

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