All right. I left the house today without taking my DDAVP, (which eventually necessitates an increasing number of trips to the closest public restroom I can find, followed by the massive consumption of cold beverages. Lather, rinse, repeat until your hair falls out.) and found myself in the not-terribly-pristine restroom of the local Sam's Club.
As I came out of the stall, there on the diaper changing table is a little boy in full diaperless glory; he babbled happily to his Mom, who assured him he's the Cutest Baby in the Galaxy, and I go past them to wash my hands. At the sink next to me is another woman, probably 15 years younger than I. She's washing and glancing in the mirror at the woman and her Uber-Cute infant.
As soon as the happily diapered little boy and Mom leave, the woman shook her head and said "That poor boy."
She was looking sideways at me; the comment was meant for me, though I couldn't figure out why. He was adorable. He was smiling and happy. So I said the most intelligent thing I could think of. "Huh?"
"That baby...he's going to feel so bad when he's older."
I didn't understand, and grunted something to that effect.
She held up her index finger and made a peculiar up an down motion with it. "His thingy..."
Now I normally don't stare at little boys' genitals, but I did get a fleeting glance as I came out of the stall; couldn't help it as he was just THERE. So I said the second most intelligent thing I could think of. "Eh?
The lightbulb went off. I did not laugh, though it was my first impulse. I simply reached for the paper towels and sighed with as little sarcasm as I could, "Um, he's ok. He's just not circumsized."
Then I punched her for staring at little boys' nads.
Ok, no I didn't, but I didn't let the exchange go any further. I tossed out my paper towel and exited as quickly as I could, in search of the Spouse Thingy who was in line to purchase a couple cases of Fruity Liquid Wonder, know to the rest of the world as Fuze Slenderize.
People. Stop talking to me when I'm in public.
Y'all are just freaking me out.