I would like to offer the people of Northern California an apology. This is looking like it’s going to be the hottest summer on record, and to be truthful, it’s our fault. If we had stayed in Ohio, you would be enjoying much cooler temps, and more than the occasional delta breeze.

We know this is our fault because we have this nasty tendency to bring extreme weather or natural disasters wherever we go. We’ve brought drought to CA, flooding to Utah and Texas and Illinois. Huge amounts of snow followed by a flood of biblical proportions to North Dakota. Earthquakes to CA and UT. Where we go, ick follows.

This time, we bring heat.

While your lawns are turning brown and you’re chugging another bottle of Gatorade or 64 ounce Big Gulp, go ahead and swear in our general direction.

We really are sorry.

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