Thursday

21 January 2016

THINGS THAT ARE ANNOYING ME TODAY

♦ The treadmill. Why does the treadmill have to be so freaking boring? Even with the TV on…boringboringboring. Today’s 5-7 miles will be done one at a time. On for a mile, off for distraction, on for a mile, off for lunch…until I get the damned miles in.

♦No, cat, I am not making a lap right now. I am using the computer on it while I muster up enough maturity to get back on the treadmill.

♦ Having to wait for the delivery dude. He’s the reason I’m stuck inside. I could be outside, plodding through town while I pretend to jog but am really just walking. But no…they won’t just leave beer by the door without a signature. Sheesh.

♦Seriously, furball. Stop practically humping my head while you lounge on the back of the chair, trying to get me to make a lap.

♦ Politicians. Holy hell. Stop saying you’ll fix something, and freaking tell us HOW you’ll fix it. Stop blathering on about everything you think your opponent is doing wrong and start telling us what you’ll do right. Right side, left side, I don’t care…the campaigning sucks.

♦ STOP MEOWING, CAT! I swear to Bast, you talk more than an 8 year old girl.

♦ Memes offering up “less desirable” celebrities in lieu of popular ones dying. I hate that Alan Rickman, David Bowie, and Glenn Frey have died, too, but come on…these memes saying “take the Kardashians” instead are just mean.

♦ Jesus, cat…

♦ That I have no idea if I spelled “Kardashians” correctly. I either spelled out the Hollywood family, or the Star Trek Deep Space Nine bad guys.

♦Licking my hair is not going to make me cater to your whims, cat.

♦ We are out of tomato soup.

♦ Really, furball? You’re going to beat me to death with your tail? At the rate you’re going, it will take another 24.8 years of popping it against my neck for that to work.

♦ Ok, great, the delivery dude has come and gone and I am free to go about my business. But I just ate lunch and I know better than to try to do anything for an hour, and then after that I need to go grocery shopping and I’ll buy more than I can carry while on foot, so… blah.

♦ Seriously cat, I am trading you in on a new model. Get your damned nose out of my ear.

2 comments:

Mark's Mews (Ayla, Iza, and Marley) said...

I had a exercise bike once. Tried to use it while watching Jeopardy. But I couldn't peddle and think at the same time.

They deliver BEER where you are?

Marley doesn't hump my head from the back of the chair, but he does lick my hair until it gets painful.

Politicians drive me crazy too. I love Sanders but can't see him running the whole Executive Branch. At some point, righteous anger isn't "management. The Republicans ALL seem nuts. I'm going with Clinton and "incrementalism".

If someone told me there HAD to be one of the Republicans, it would be "JEB!"

You think MAX is talkative? Try a siamese girlcat... She even meows in her sleep!

If you can spell those Kardas***, you are watching too much TV...

I can live without tomato soup but not V8. Or Cream of Mushroom soup.

Why don't cat tails get tired? I mean, they twitch constantly. It is either the strongest muscle in their body or there is a separate brain down there.

I used to have to walk 1.5 miles to the grocery store and I used a large Kelty backpack to carry the stuff home. Limited space and weight really defines shopping efficiency!

Keep up the good writing, Thumper...

Mark, of Cavebear's Lair

RiverfrontCats said...

This blog is hilarious!
I feel like I'm watching you on a hidden camera!

Don't forget to buy tomato soup.
Cheers
Christine