26 March 2013

Since SCOTUS is hearing arguments about it today...

Here's the thing... if you're totally opposed to same-sex marriage, I get it. It doesn't set well with you, the same way as polygamy doesn't set quite right with me. That baffles me. I don't get it. The difference as I see it is that those who are gay do not choose to be gay; those who engage in polyamory (for lack of a better term) do. But the feeling...probably the same.

What I don't understand--and there's not a thing you could probably say to change my mind--is why you're also opposed to allowing civil marriages between same-sex couples. Every argument you make will probably boil down to religion; it violates your religious belief system, therefore you cannot fathom opining that it would be all right.

The problem as I see it? This is in no way a religious issue; no church ever should be required to perform same-sex marriages. Neither should they be required to perform marriages between a man and a woman, for whatever reason. A church should always be allowed to perform sacraments based upon their foundation of beliefs, as long as no children are harmed, no animals sacrificed, and binding covenants that are also civil agreements are made between consenting adults only.

I fully support your right to oppose same-sex unions within your religion. I would argue vehemently against it if the law were ever written to require it...because, you know, separation of church and state.

Something you might find surprising about me: as puzzling creepy as polygamy is to me, I don't think it's any of my business if three or four or even five consenting adults--and the key is consenting adults, not the little freak show of cults forcing little girls to marry old men--want to live together and cement that with a legal, civil, contract.

It's none of my business. And it doesn't change my 31-year-long heterosexual union one whit. Yes, I recoil at the idea that anyone would want to do that...but in the end, none of my business.

I don't think it's any of your business, either. If Jim and Jose down the street want to legalize their relationship, it doesn't affect me one way or the other. If Marge and Juliette want to get hitched, it doesn't make me any less married.

If Seth and Brianna want to live together and never get married...none of my business.


Not mine...found in lots of places online today...
Last night on the news, while they were covering the people assembling to protest/support the SCOTUS hearings on Prop 8 today and DOMA tomorrow, one of the women they interviewed said she was totally against gay marriage, because "the Bible says it's a man and a woman, and to be fruitful and multiply, and gay people can't do that. If they want a family they have to use other peoples' kids."

The absurdity of her statement didn't make me angry; it made me sad. It was a slap to the face of anyone who has ever adopted a child, who have found their soul mate too late in life to have a child, to couples who never wanted to procreate in the first place, and in a personal vein, to people who simply cannot conceive.

Should the Spouse Thingy and I stop being married because we only had the one kid, and there's no one in hell we'd even think about it now? Should we have separated when it was clear that we couldn't have another, especially once the Boy was out of the house? We're not going to be fruitful or multiply now. 

Look...you have your religious beliefs. Fine. But if you've ever used birth control, cheated on a spouse, gotten a divorce, had premarital or extra-martial sex, masturbated, gotten a tattoo, worn cotton and polyster together, never chucked stones at someone you knew had committed adultery, never sacrificed an animal, if you even once engaged in coitus during menses...well, you're already not doing a bang up job of following the Bible as it is.

And if you're already not doing a bang up job at being the Christian you think everyone else should be...by denying other people the right to do a less than stellar job at being Christian, you're just being unkind.


I'm pretty sure he would err on the side of kindness.

It is perfectly reasonable to hold tight to your own moral code while allowing others to run rampant with theirs. It doesn't make you less of a Christian. I would argue that it makes you more of one; showing kindness and compassion always trumps over selfishness and hate, even if in the act of kindness you have to swallow something you find very bitter.

God will sort us all out in the end. And I'm pretty sure He would understand if you chose to not shove your beliefs down someone else's throat and instead simply led by example.


Crazy Cat Lady said...

One thing I have to say is that I am very impressed with the number of people showing their support of marriage equality. I have gay friends and family members who have been with their partners for longer than most heterosexual marriages. They deserve the right to legal standing and protections. Let's just hope SCOTUS does the right thing.

april said...

I fully support a religion's right to not perform a ceremony that they are religiously opposed to - a Catholic priest would refuse to preside over a non-Catholic's nuptuals. I do think that it should be governmentally legal and that all people should have the same legal right to marriage and all the rights attached to that union.

Carolyn said...

So silly to even have to have legislation regarding people's private lives ... same with my uterus ... ain't nobody's business what I do with it...

Church goers love to make decisions for other church goers as well as non church goers... they just like to be the deciders and if the people who run for office want to get elected? they have to mention God and Jesus and a bunch of anti stuff against homosexuals and women to get elected.

the saddest part is the fact these church goers get to rule tax free. silly

Angel and Kirby said...

One of the hardest lessons I am trying to learn is to jot judge. Who am I to say you are wrong for loving a same sex partner? To believe only the people attending one church will go to heaven. To think I know what is best for all my family , neighbors or country.

The government needs to get the hell out of personal lives and run the country. Churches, schools organizations all need to do the same.

I am an adult and have the right to my own opinion and so does every one else, but I do not have the right to impose my opinion on every one else.

I am a coward and will not post the equality symbol because I know my closest friends would be offended and they have the right to their on opinions with out me waving mine in their face!

Very good post today! Very well stated!

Heather and Amanda said...


Roberta said...

Fabulous post Ms. Thompson.