Friday

28 December 2012


I needed a haircut. Badly. Or badly for me; most people would probably look at me and think it was short enough already, but I like it short enough to not have to fuss with it.

So off to Pro Clips I went, because after trial and error and so many really bad haircuts, I found a place that has people who don’t routinely screw up. And the same two people cut my hair every time (well, okay, not at the same time…but they’re the only two who cut it.)

There were a couple people ahead of me, so I had to wait. No problem. I sat in a chair against the far wall; there are 4 chairs there, and I sat in chair #2. This left one empty chair to my left and 2 empty chairs to my right…there are more across the waiting area, but were mostly full. There are a good six inches between the chairs, so you get plenty of personal space while you wait.

So I sat there playing solitaire on my phone, waiting my turn, when an older couple came in. He sat in the chair furthest to my right while she signed in, and when she stepped over she hesitated, then leaned down and whispered to him loudly, “I don’t want to sit next to a faggot!”

He told her to just sit. He wasn’t budging. I suppose he didn’t want to sit next to a faggot, either.

There was a little boy ahead of me; he was maybe 5 years old and getting his hair buzzed, so it wasn’t going to take long. While he giggled because the clippers tickled, the lad next to me whispered again, “I really don’t want to sit next to it.”

It.

So you know what I had to do.

I scooted the chair about an inch closer to her.

And a minute later, a tiny bit more.

I might have done it again—maybe not, I didn’t want to be the reason they got up and walked out—but the little boy’s haircut was done and Peter (haircut dude) called me up.

“Where’s your husband today?”

Ha.

I heard that old lady practically gasp.

I kind of hope she choked on a little spit.

I swapped some small talk with Peter, and proceeded to get the gayest haircut I think I’ve ever had.

That lady, though? When I paid and started to leave, I looked at her, and she was sitting there with a hand over her mouth, though I can’t honestly say if it was in shame or disbelief.


I don’t care if anyone thinks I’m gay. It’s not offensive. But that attitude?

Yeah.

Don’t care much now, though. I love my gay haircut. And tonight, I dye again.

9 comments:

Angel and Kirby said...

I kike your gay haircut. What color is it going to be this time!

G.G. Mueller said...

I used to get that, too. When I was real skinny, flat chested with a nice male sounding voice. It is annoying and just reminds me that we don't educate our population very well at all.
Now they call me a dyke! Thirty pounds heavier, short hair, and a walk that looks like I know what I am doing. (I don't but people think I do) Therefore I must be gay.
Fine by me and the spouse thinks it is funny. Like I said. Not enough education. ;-)

las794 said...

I love your hair--wish I could get mine to do that! Pink it up, Thumper! :)

Anonymous said...

sounds like a perfect time to say (loud enough for her to hear) oh she likes my hair, I will pay for her to get the same style!

Jan said...

With the scooting of the chair closer to the, um, unenlightened being, it is clear to me that you are just as evil as I am when it comes to certain matters!

bravo!

Derby, Ducky said...

Needs to learn not to judge people on their appearance!

Shaggy and Scout said...

When we were first married we lived in San Diego and my husband was just starting his career as an aerospace engineer. We finally had money for a good meal, so went to a popular supper club for dinner. We were 21 and it was 1981. Smoking allowed everywhere. My husband politely asked the older woman at the table next to ours to please move her ashtray to the other side of her table because the smoke was blowing directly at us. She harumphed and said for all to hear: "I bet he wouldn't care if it was a marijuana cigarette." (Yes he had the fashionable long hair of the time.) That incident has stuck with me for 35 years and because of it I really try not to judge "a book by its cover." Why some people need to announce their ignorance to everyone is beyond me. An effort to appear superior I suppose. -L

caircair said...

When I hear comments like that, I always wonder - what would happen if you DID sit next to them? Are you afraid it will rub off on you?

All you can do is laugh, feel sorry for their narrow minds, and occasionally pull an evil prank (as you did).

Roberta said...

REALLY????
People are so disappointing sometimes.
I am just saying.
R