21 December 2012

Dressed a lot like this...ThumpaElf

I’m sitting here in Starbucks, supposedly working, but there’s a table not too far from me with a couple of women and their kids, three little girls who all look to be about 6-7 years old. They’re all being very good, but they’re also obviously wound up—hopped up on caffeine, sugar, and expectation—and are wiggling around in their chairs like 3 little girls are wont to do.

I had been sitting here for all of five minutes when I realized they were talking about me. Granted, they are all trying very hard to not speak loudly and point, but they’re also very young and their whispers make a stage whisper sound muffled. And bear in mind, I’m dressed pretty much like an elf: red pants, green sweatshirt, and my Santa hat.

Hey, it's festive. This is the only time of year I can get away with this. And I love my red pants, dammit.

Girl 1: I think that’s Santa’s wife! That’s Mrs. Claus!

Girl 2: Why is she here?

Girl 3: She likes coffee!

Girl 1: No! She’s taking notes!

Girl 3: Mrs. Claus has pink hair! Look!

Girl 2: I’m being good.

Girl 1: Mommy, are we still being good if we ask for another cookie?

I’ve only been here for about 30 minutes, but I’ve overheard each of them being called by their names…if any of them walk past me to go into the bathroom, I am going to be sorely tempted to say hello and use their names.

That’ll freak the little rugrats out.