I think I bit off more than I can chew.
Right after the Beat the Blerch run in November I registered for the Hot Chocolate 15k in San Francisco on January 10th. It was like, sure, why not? It's more than double the 10k distance and it has a 15 minute mile pace requirement, where the Blerch had none and I finished with a 17:14 pace.
Surely training would change that.
Now, I'm not an idiot. I honestly didn't sign up for it thinking I would finish--I knew I could do the distance but not the pace--but the idea was that in having a goal, I would train, and get as close to that 15m/m as I could.
I haven't trained nearly as much as I should, and because I am a weenie and it's been cold and rainy or cold and windy, what I've done has been on the treadmill.
I loathe the treadmill. (ok, I loathe our treadmill. It's a cheap one, the belt is starting to slip, and it's like running on concrete that's inexplicably harder than running on concrete. I don't enjoy it, not one bit.) I'll pop something up on the TV and do it, but it's torture, and I just don't stay on it as long as I should.
I also haven't been able to consistently break a 16:30 pace, especially not over distance. A mile, sure, I can gut that out if I've warmed up. Two miles, three...my body just isn't there yet. My back is screaming at me and I can feel a pulling in my lower back, right where I slipped a disk a few years ago.
Most of the time, I think that's a mental thing. I mean, I feel the pain, I feel the twinge and keep begging my back to not give out, but every time I get out of a chair and grimace, I'm half certain it's my brain screwing with me, already making excuses.
I should have registered for the 5K and not the 15, I know that. I could push myself through a 5K and at least come close to finishing in the time required. I keep telling myself that I wanted the 15k in order to really push myself, to go the distance even if don't make the pace, but the truth is that it was probably more ego than anything else.
The run is in 2 weeks; I'm nowhere near the pace I need to be. I also know that near the end is the horrible climb up the hill near the Cliff House, and I know how badly that hurt during the 3 Day. Where I was pretty sure I wouldn't finish before, now I am certain.
It'll be my own damn fault.
I'll still show up, I'll still try my best and go until I can't go any longer, but I'm not as stupid as I am lazy: I did not train well enough and I am not fast enough. I am not prepared for the crush of the crowd of other runners, and I am not prepared for the hills.
I'm okay with it.
Well...other than by the time I'm done all the hot chocolate at the end will be gone. I'm not okay with that. I want my hot chocolate, dammit.