19 October 2009

At 6:30 this morning I was in the kitchen scribbling a note for the Spouse Thingy: Please feed the kitties. Normally they eat at 9:30, but I had no intention of being awake at 9:30 and every intention of being fast asleep…this would displease Max, causing him to body slam my face repeatedly until I dragged my sorry self out of bed to make use of my nifty opposable thumbs on those cans of Stinky Goodness, so I dragged myself out of bed early and wrote the note.

It was only dragging because the bed was warm and the house was not. It’s not as if I was asleep.

I wasn’t not sleeping through lack of effort…I went to bed at 12:30, but didn’t fall asleep until nearly 2 a.m. At 3:30 I woke from a dream that had me driving a ’67 Mustang at insane speeds, hitting a rise in the road and going airborne, headed straight for an overpass. I jolted awake just before impact, relieved that it was just a dream, and that I had woken up, lest the idea that if one dies violently in a dream they die in their sleep has a bit of truth to it (like, who would really know? But I’d rather not test it out…)

It took another hour to fall back asleep, long enough that I nearly got out of bed to play online for a little while, but almost as soon as that impulse hit me I realized I was this close to nodding off again, so I pulled the blankets around me a bit tighter, and let myself fall.

I woke up at 5:30, so freaking sad I was nearly in tears. I’m not sure if there’s any symbolism here, but I’d been dreaming that the Spouse Thingy and I had split up, but for whatever reasons we were still living in the house together…and he had remarried to someone who had, in a previous lifetime, been my best friend, someone who is still a friend. It was supposedly a marriage of convenience, but when confronted with the reality that it was not, I was on my way out the door, bags in hand, the Boy there to take me to wherever. The Spouse Thingy was there begging me not to go… I woke up before my foot stepped outside the door, but an hour later I was still wrapped in the sheer sadness and grief of a dream, I could make no sense of, so I got up and wrote the note asking him to feed Max and Buddah.

At 7:15ish I heard his key in the front door—Max bounded off the bed in hopes of crunchy treats, simple reaffirming that yep, it was him—and I finally fell back asleep, the sense of grief finally fading away with the drifting back into the next dream.

Luckily, whatever slithered through my brain after that wasn’t disturbing enough to pry me awake again, and Max didn’t try to nap across my face after getting his breakfast.

Still…I’d like to know what the hell those dreams were really about…


Spitty-the-Kitty's mama said...

I really hate armchair psychoanalysis, but that has never stopped me!

These dreams seem like they are about loss--both you & spouse thingy have recently been ill/had surgery. While everything turned out well, maybe in your dreams you are processing grief/loss that MIGHT have (but did not) happen?

That'll be $200.

Angel and Kirby said...

Dreams like that drive me crazy. But they are better than out and out nightmares. It is rather embarrassing and scary to wake up screaming when you are nearing 60!

Char said...

Sometimes a dream is just a dream, but the fact that in the dream you weren't leaving until you had to, and the sadness it left you with pretty much says you don't ever want to let go of him, but you will if it's better for him. That's love, Thumps. You guys have been together forever, so that also says alot.

$199, to undercut the competition ;)

Klaatu said...

I had a dream once that my wife told me she didn't love me and was leaving. Even in my dream I could feel the pit of my stomach drop through my arsehole, taking my soul with it.
This woke me up. I hugged my wife really, really tight, which woke her up.
I told her about my dream, she comforted me, and we went back to sleep. All was well.

Cheysuli and gemini said...

I think that dreams are often more about the emotion in the dream than the actuality--the second where you were terribly sad. What is making you so sad in your life that you have to grieve. Maybe giving into grief.

Chey's person (Chey really isn't that astute about dreams...)

Mila said...

ooooh, I *hate* the dreams that do that. I had a sad/guilt provoking one last week, involving me doing things I never would. Our brains are so mean sometimes.

*hugs* I'm glad you still seem to be recovering well.

kenju said...

Dreams are always symbolic and seldom literal - so I wouldn't worry about it too much. I hate when that happens, though. Sometimes I wake up crying and don't know why. I know I've been having a bad dream, but not what it was about.

Karen Jo said...

I know nothing about dream analysis, so I won't attempt any. I'm just glad that once Spouse Thingy was home, you got some good sleep.

Roses said...

I've had some pretty funky dreams myself (ask me about one with the machete and the body I buried in my mother's garden), but they usually translate into something positive (like "slaying" some real life issue and burying it).

Rave said...

Roses asked me to explain your dream:

Driving: To dream that you are driving a vehicle, signifies your life's journey and your path in life. The dream is telling of how you are moving and navigating through life. If you are driving and cannot see the road ahead of you, then it indicates that you do not know where you are headed in life and what you really want to do with yourself. You are lacking direction and goals. Alternatively, driving a car in your dream, is analogous to your sex life and sexual performance. Consider how you are driving and what kind of car you are driving and how it relates to your waking sex life.
To dream that you drive off a mountain road, suggests that the higher you climb in life, the harder it is to stay at the top. You feel that your advanced position is a precarious one. It takes hard work to remain at the top. You may also feel that you are not able to measure up to the expectations of others.
To dream that you are speeding, indicates that you are compelled and driven to complete something. As a result, you may be pushing people away. Alternatively, the dream suggests that you are moving too fast in some relationship or situation. Perhaps you need to slow down.

To dream that you are in a car crash, indicates that your beliefs, lifestyle, or goals are clashing with another's. It may also represent a shocking situation or painful experience. Alternatively, car crashes may forewarn of your dangerous or careless driving habits.
But remember- you didn't crash in your dream, so you are holding your own against another.

Separation from your spouse/divorce:
To dream that you are getting a divorce, indicates that you need to differentiate between things in your life and prioritize them. Perhaps you need to separate yourself from some issue or some aspect of yourself. Alternatively, the dream suggests that you have a fear of separation or fear of being alone. You may be unsatisfied with your present relationship.

Divorce dreams may reflect real-life events and the stress that it brings. You may be wondering if you have made a mistake in some situation or decision. Divorce dreams suggest a transitional phase or a time to change your old habits.

People in your dream:
To see people you know in your dream, signifies qualities and feelings of those people that you desire for yourself.

To see people you don't know in your dream, denotes hidden aspects of yourself that you need to confront.

To see people from your past in your dream, refers to your shadow and other unacknowledged aspects of yourself. It can represent a waking situation that is bringing out similar feelings as your past relationships.

Hope this helps a little-
It sounds like you are subconsciously working out a problem, going too fast or made a hasty decision, and are thinking now it might be time to rethink that decision. And knowing the person from your past in your dream may signal to you that however this person might have handled the situation could be a trait you should employ.

But what do I know? :-)

yellojkt said...

I've had weird dreams like that and sometimes I worry that it means something is wrong, but I just refuse to take them seriously.

Undr said...

Sometimes a dream is just a dream...

Marti said...

Considering all the crazy dreams I've had since being unemployed, I've decided that dreams are fragments of thoughts that are all mixed up by the chemicals in the brain.

I've had so many dreams about working (never about the real places where I've worked but sometimes having in them some of the people I've worked for). They usually leave me tired. Nothing more tiring than working while sleeping!

One thing for sure is that dreams are not true. I've had a lot of them over the years (that I've lived in a city apt.) that the apt. was much bigger with another room (large of course).