Dear Other Person With My Name Who Lives In My Area Code,

Please pay your bills. Or at least give your creditors your own phone number, because I'm getting really tired of them calling me and expecting me to pay them what you owe. I am tired of hearing how far behind I am on my payments, and having to explain that they've go the wrong person. I am tired of the disbelief. I'm even tired of the profuse apologies when they finally believe they have the wrong person because--thank God--we do have different middle names. And if you won't pay your bills and won't give them your own phone number, will you at least cover any fees associated with me making my number unlisted? By now you owe me, you really do.

Disgruntled Wabbit

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