I'll trade 300 tabs of expired Vicodin for 2 unexpired Flexeril.
Ok, not really.
But it's tempting.
Stupid back spasm...
If the EVIL people were HERE then SOMEONE could make me lots of VODKA SLUSH and I wouldn't care about my back.
Fine, I could make it myself, but it always tastes better when made by Evil People.
I wouldn't even mind, but I didn't get to ride my bike today.
Yes, yes, I hear that teeny tiny violin playing for me.
I get no respect.