Ok… I was supposed to have an MRI in November; I showed up for the appointment, feeling fairly confident that in spite of some mild claustrophobia, I could handle an hour in a loud, uncomfortable, giant lipstick tube.

I was wrong.

Fifteen seconds after the technician slid me into the tube, I was clamoring to get out. There was no way I was lying there for an hour. She slid the table back out, and without any trace of amusement or sarcasm, said it would be no problem to reschedule; I could get a scrip from my doctor, something to keep me relaxed.

I was rescheduled for December 17th, but someone else’s emergency took precedence, and the little I have learned about it, this person definitely needed to be there more than I. It was scheduled again for January 9th—and I showed up right on time, with my bottle of two tiny little Valium in hand.

Fifteen minutes after I took it, Spouse Thingy and a medical technician had to help me walk down the short hallway to the MRI room (ST, as I took it: “you know, your legs might feel a little wobbly in a few minutes.” Really? Just a little?); Spouse Thingy had to stop just short of the door because he had a stethoscope and other metal thingies that could have quickly become lethal flying objects once near the MRI machine. I was plopped down on the table and shoved in… no problem.

One thing Wright Patterson AFB Med Center has that Travis AFB didn’t: they could play music for me while I was shoved in there. I brought my John Barry Moviola CD… Best. CD. Ever. I listened to it through clunky rubber earphones, not caring about a thing, not even when the machine broke down for twenty minutes. Hell, I didn’t even realize it was twenty minutes. I knew it had gotten quiet for some time, but phfft, so what? Soooo freakin’ what?

I love valium.

I’m pretty sure that after I got home (Spouse Thingy was able to get off the rest of the day to drive me home, leaving my pretty purple toy car in the hospital parking lot) I got online and stared posting on WWDN, but I wasn’t banned, so it must not have been too bad.

Valium… Best.Drug.Ever.

No comments: