Just When I Thought My Nipples Were Safe…

It is farkin’ cold out there today! Cold I haven’t felt since we were in NorthDakota (though, admittedly, not as cold as it used to get there.) My intention was to spend today inside, warm, sitting at the computer working, perhaps wrapped in this nice blue feather filled lap blanket my sister-in-law sent for Christmas. I had no reason to go outside, where it topped out at 9 degrees with a wind chill of about fifteen below. No reason at all.

Then the dentist called. I’ve been on their wait-list for getting my teeth cleaned, and they had an opening this morning, so I took it, before I remembered how cold it was. So I bundled up and went outside, and thought, “This isn’t too bad. Not bad at all.” I started the car and began to brush snow off my windows—and then felt the wind.

The wind was light, but it was cold.
Very cold.
I swear, my nipples puckered.

I braved the cold and went anyway, leaving their office 45 minutes later with bright shiny teeth and an appointment for February 11th, because I have a small cavity. And a fractured tooth. Ick. I headed home, thinking warm thoughts, looking forward to being toasty the rest of the day.

Then I got email from The Boy. “I lost the check you sent. Um, can you cancel it and resend it? And today, because I need it for a deposit on a new apartment…” He lost the check. A five hundred dollar check, he misplaced it. As if he gets one every day, no big deal, nothing to keep careful track of.

A. Five. Hundred. Dollar. Check.

Back out into the cold I went, to get to the post office to send him another check, after emailing him back that he had to go to the credit union to take care of the original. It was colder, the wind stiffer, and as I walked from my car into the post office I could feel the hairs inside my nose freezing (now, granted, this is a unique feeling and not altogether unpleasant, but it does make you realize how cold it is). I realized on the way home that I was no longer just feeling chilly, I was cold, very cold… numb fingers and toes cold.

Frozen nipples cold.

A short time after I got home the phone rang. It was The Boy. He found the check. In his laundry. Laundry that had already been washed. Basically, he found what was left of the check. In his pants pocket. In pieces.

A Five. Hundred. Dollar Check.

I could have gotten mad, but there was no point. He found the check, which means it wasn’t floating around there, waiting for someone else to find and attempt to cash. I had other things to worry about, anyway.

Like the cold.
And my nipples.
And what happens if I sneeze, and they go flying off.


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