9 July 2024

 

A couple of weeks ago, after someone punched me in the face with a fistful of sleep, I wandered to the back of the house to crawl into bed. For once, I had no kitty help, so I was able to close the bedroom door. And while I was snoozing, the Spouse Thingy decided to run a couple of errands.

I wasn't quite asleep when he left. Within a minute, CJ began wandering up and down the hall, crying. It was pretty clear he thought he was alone and didn't want to be, but I was so close to being zonked I couldn't make myself get up to let him in the room.

He quieted quickly, though, and I fell asleep, hard.

Cut to today. Spouse Thingy was off work, and again, there were errands to be run. CJ watched as we got ready, and when he saw the wallet and keys go into my pocket, the crying began.

He followed us around, plastering us in guilt made of tiny, baby-like mews. He even jumped onto the table to head butt the Spouse Thingy, all the time begging us to stay. And I was tempted, I really was. I was not the only one. He was so sad, and it was our fault.

But...we had places to go. Yes, those errands could have been put off, but that only would have made the next time worse. That doesn't mean my heart wasn't kinda hurting as we closed and locked the door.

Once in the car, I remember a check that needed to be taken to the bank. Going back in for it would have hurt him even more, so we left without it, reasoning there's always tomorrow. Chances are high that I will need a nap, and CJ will sleep on top of me, so he won't be alone.

Now I worry he cries like this every time he realizes he's home alone (with Ozzy...she doesn't care. Us leaving just means more nap time as far as she's concerned.) 

There's no real point to this.

We made Good Boy CJ cry today, and I felt really, really bad about it. And now you can feel bad, too.