4 November 2024

 BLOG BLAST FOR PEACE 2024

2 November 2024

 NoMo'NaNo

Normally this time of year I am bemoaning the fact that I signed up for NaNoWriMo without any clue what I'd write. This year, though? Nah.

I will probably never try NaNo again. Hell, I wasn't even going to bring it up, but I've pulled a few people into in years past, and in the middle of a conversation today I was asked what I'd be working on. Now, I am working on something, but not for that.

There are a couple of reasons. 

One...they announced not too long ago that they fully intended (or perhaps already have been) to use this year's uploaded word-check manuscripts to train their own AI. We all know where that can wind up: wholly AI-written books, pages upon pages of probable trash, for which no living, breathing person will profit. Well, other than the company. And honestly, even if the effort was above board, I am not interested in allowing the words I have spent countless hours upon being used to train a machine to write something using my voice.

But really, that's just a tiny reason.

The biggest reason? 

The NaNoWriMo site has a popular collection of forums, one of which is intended for young writers. It is supposed to be a safe space for kids interested in the craft to gather, somewhere they can ask questions, share ideas, where a few behind-the-scene adults make sure nothing untoward is going on.

The problem is when one of those adults uses the forum for their own grooming wants. I have no idea how long it went on, but one of the moderators was doing just that, grooming young participants for whatever nefarious impulses they had...and the NaNos in charge knew about it and did nothing for a very long time.

That's it. I'm out. I don't care if they've "taken care of it." It happened and they did not act in the kids' best interests.

I canceled my ongoing financial support, a monthly donation, and will not participate in any current or future events.

♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦

 2024's Great Cycle Challenge went pretty well. I was unable to increase my mileage, but mostly that was owed to poor time management on my part. I hit 201 miles, what I pledged plus one, and raised a nice $4350--the most to date. 

This was year 5 for me, and so far overall I've raised $17,594. Or better said, y'all have donated that much. I appreciate more than I can express that my friends indulge my whims. 

Next year I'm shooting for the 300 I used to do. Maybe then I can get my chit together and make the time to get it done.

♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦

Part of what's distracted me is that the Spouse Thingy retires next month, and has been chewing off his unused vacation days. He'd considered cashing those in, but when you're this close to retiring, you just want time off, and trust me, that makes sense in your head when you're there. We haven't gone off and done much, just kind of chilling around the house and getting used to him being here, interrupting my schedule. 

Yeah, we really need to make an actual schedule or I won't get much of my own work done. Only one of us is retiring...I still have things to make up inside my own head and then barf out onto virtual paper.

But...he has one more week off next week, fifteen more shifts after tonight, and is done on Dec 10th.

♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦

I dunno, though, he might nee to keep working to pay for my freaking teeth. I broke one, saw the dentist for a quick fix while waiting for the Real Fix, and the NEXT DAMNED DAY I broke another one. That one has now been spackled over, I've had the prep work done to get a crown on the first tooth, and Monday I get the prep work for the 2nd tooth. So, in a couple weeks we get to pay for two more crowns.

I'm grinding my teeth like a freak. All day, clench, grind, clench grind. If it keeps up, I'm gonna need all my teeth fixed. 

There may be a light at the end of the toothy tunnel, though. I had the same problem in 2016 and 2020, and it abated after the elections, though this is the first time teeth have protested. I have high hopes that after the 5th my jaw will relax and I'll stop again.

Clearly, I should not pay attention to politics.

♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦

I already voted, too.

You can figure out for who on your own, I'm sure.

1 September 2024

 

Lessons learned today:

1. Look out for potholes, lest you hit one at 15mph and get jostled enough that you bruise your crotch. 

2. A granola bar at 10:30 is not enough food for a ride starting at noon, and you will wind up stopping for a sandwich you aren't ready to eat but are grateful for nonetheless.

3. Since the Spouse Thingy was ridding behind me, the zombies totally would have gotten him.

Today is the first day of the Great Cycle Challenge, and plans went awry from the start. I needed to put air in the tires of my super spiffy road bike, but the valve on the front tire is bent funny and would not hold air. So that's going to the shop on Tuesday, because this is the first time I've needed to air up and the valve should be fine. It should be covered under warranty. If not, this shop will do it anyway.

The food thing was a brain fart; I'd expected to be out the door by 11, but Mike wasn't quite ready and I didn't think anything of it. The bike...I wound up taking my single speed, which added to how quickly my reserve depleted. It's a heavier bike and with no gears...that was work. I don't mind that; I really like this bike but man it showed me how much easier the road bike is.

We did 10 miles, a bit less than I'd hoped, but I can finish the rest on the Peloton later. I'll count the miles, but that one will be totally for fun; I'm strapping a cadence sensor onto it and riding with the VR set strapped to my face, and wander around somewhere with VZFit. It's been a long time since I used it, but I remember the feeling when going off the road (kinda hard since you really can't steer, but you feel as if you're falling and it's one of those fun but weird and scary feelings.)

I did not realize how big that shirt is on me, but since I have a chunky tummy, I'm embracing it.

So for now, 10 down, 190 to go. Unless I hit 200 early, in which case, 10 down, 240-290 to go. I really hope it's the latter.

20 August 2024

 

Shiny!

I had the chance last week to snag a pair of these cycling shoes for the cost of shipping. I wasn't worried about a scam--you know, pay the person then never get the merch--because this was courtesy of a writer friend whose spouse is closing out an eBay store. For $30 I bought a $500 pair of shoes that I wanted for no reason other than they are shiny and sparkly.

Thing is...I ride with flat pedals, not clips, which these are meant for. I told her that before I decided to buy them, and she virtually shrugged and said I could ride flats in these if I wanted.

Ride on the tail of that, someone else in the group mentioned a coupon we could all use to get some Wahoo gear, specifically Speedplay pedals, so I figured why not? I can play with them on the Peloton at home first, and if I get the hang if it (which I never did with other clip-in pedals...I mean, I clip in just fine, it's unclipping that I just didn't seem capable of) I can swap them over to my road bike and ride in my shiny new shoes.

Ngl, part of me wants to stick the shoes on a shelf because they are gorgeous. 

The other part of me spent a week watching the Tour de France Femme and I am going to be a clip-in MONSTER soon, zooming up hills and mountains, flying down straightaways. Yes, of course I will, just as soon as this little town gets a mountain and a long straightaway with no traffic. I think if I win the lottery I can make that happen.

So I'm sitting here waiting for the FedEx dude to get here with my new pedals. He usually gets here around noon, which means he will get here at 8pm this time.

♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦

A while back on FB I joked that because I am doing the Great Cycle Challenge again this year, surely I need a new bike for that. And at the time I really was joking. There was a bike I had my eye on, thinking I could get it next year, since this year's stock was depleted. It's the bike, the one I absolutely don't need but coveted the hell out of, and if I were any other person I could declare it the Last Bike Ever, but we all know better.

Trek Domane+ SLR 6. It's electric, yes, but rides beautifully without running the motor. I start out on my own power, get as many miles as I want (or as many as I can) and then turn it on for some zippy fun. If I hit my miles and am just wiped out or am in pain, having that pedal assist boost makes all the difference for me. 

No, it's not cheating. Even when using the power, I ride longer than I normally would, farther, and get my HR up just as much. I'm pushing into the 140s now, where I used to struggle to get it over 130ish. I can make that extra effort now because of a lot of time spent on =surprise= an ebike.

If I do ever get another, though, it will be a non-ebike, and I'll get it because I've finally gotten into some semblance of in shape and won't need the motor.

(okay, to be fair, I don't need it now. But I'm a lot more confident having it there just in case.)

♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦

Yes, my brain is hyper-focused on bikes again. I do that. I get in a groove and obsess over something, sometimes for a few days, sometimes for a few weeks, sometimes for years.

I mean, I have other obsessions going at the same time, but this is a long term one, I think.

♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦

It could be worse for you, worse than reading my bike obsession. You could be the Spouse Thingy, who patiently sat here during parts of the Tour de France Femmes and listened to me info-dump. And I don't really know much about racing, but damned if I didn't blurt out what I did know. 

I know enough to understand that was one hell of a race.

Also, I learned that there are hyper-pink shoes out there that I want (though they might be custom. I suspect they are custom.) Also also, there is rainbow bar tape that I NEED. Also also also, I envy those women who can wear skin suits and look good in them, and if I EVER get that thin, you know I'll rock one while zooming around Dixon on a Saturday morning. I might be 80 by then, but I'll damn well do it.

♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦

Still waiting on Fed-Ex...

9 July 2024

 

A couple of weeks ago, after someone punched me in the face with a fistful of sleep, I wandered to the back of the house to crawl into bed. For once, I had no kitty help, so I was able to close the bedroom door. And while I was snoozing, the Spouse Thingy decided to run a couple of errands.

I wasn't quite asleep when he left. Within a minute, CJ began wandering up and down the hall, crying. It was pretty clear he thought he was alone and didn't want to be, but I was so close to being zonked I couldn't make myself get up to let him in the room.

He quieted quickly, though, and I fell asleep, hard.

Cut to today. Spouse Thingy was off work, and again, there were errands to be run. CJ watched as we got ready, and when he saw the wallet and keys go into my pocket, the crying began.

He followed us around, plastering us in guilt made of tiny, baby-like mews. He even jumped onto the table to head butt the Spouse Thingy, all the time begging us to stay. And I was tempted, I really was. I was not the only one. He was so sad, and it was our fault.

But...we had places to go. Yes, those errands could have been put off, but that only would have made the next time worse. That doesn't mean my heart wasn't kinda hurting as we closed and locked the door.

Once in the car, I remember a check that needed to be taken to the bank. Going back in for it would have hurt him even more, so we left without it, reasoning there's always tomorrow. Chances are high that I will need a nap, and CJ will sleep on top of me, so he won't be alone.

Now I worry he cries like this every time he realizes he's home alone (with Ozzy...she doesn't care. Us leaving just means more nap time as far as she's concerned.) 

There's no real point to this.

We made Good Boy CJ cry today, and I felt really, really bad about it. And now you can feel bad, too.

6 July 2024

 Oddz n Endz #867,391,911.902384b

♫♪♪ I feel useful, oh so useful...♫♪♪

I intended to get up at a normal-person hour so I could go to the store before the worst of the heat hit. So of course, I didn't wake up until almost 9:30 (this is actually good) and it took me a couple hours to feel like I'm a real live human, so by the time I left the house it was already 95F.

I did not beat the heat, but I did beat the worst of it, which should hit 108F (it is now 106 in my backyard, and it's not quite 2:30pm.) 

A little grumpy because OH MY BAST I SWEATED A LITTLE! I headed for the cat food first, because Ozzy and CJ love Meow Mix as a treat and we were out of it. They let me know last night that this made them all kinds of sad, including a mournful whine of of CJ, who is a Very Good Boy and knows he deserved him bedtime treat.

Anyway, I got there, turned my cart into the aisle, and saw a woman with a mop trying to coax something off the top shelf. So yes, of course I offered to help. She was about 5-feet nothing and I'm 5'8 with a decent reach. I grabbed the litter she wanted, placed it in her cart, and was going to go on my merry way when she said, "Everything important here is too high up. Don't they think of people my size when they do this?"

Nope, they do not.

So...we shopped together for the most part. She didn't need a whole lot, but truly 90% of what she needed was up higher than she can reach. 

I've reached the high things for others before but this is the first time I've been a personal shopper.

Not gonna lie, it made me feel good. I patted myself on the back when I got home, and decided that was a good excuse to have a couple cookies.

♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦

A few weeks ago, I ordered a catio kit from Wayfair, and the Spouse Thingy assembled it and attached it to the house. For a day or two, Ozzy and CJ didn't quite know what to make of it, and it took a bit for both of them to risk exploring the high places. Now it's their all-time favorite thing. When Spouse Thingy gets home in the morning he lets them out for an hour, and in the evening they can spend several hours out there.

We had a stretch of not-so-hot weather, and they were able to go in and out as they pleased all day long. So this stretch of unreasonably hot is not going over well. CJ lays on the back of the love seat, his paws pressed to the glass, and he whines every now and then. He wants out, he's been good, so why am I not opening the window? 

Yesterday I explained the 113 out there, but he didn't care. I am now a Lame Human,

♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦

Those pretty flowers are all dead now. Between the heat, the neighbor's dog peeing on all of them, and my giant black thumb, they never really stood a chance.

♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦

The meds I stopped taking? Yeah, that lasted about 10 days. I did not mind the withdrawal effects--most of them were kind of interesting, including the brain zaps. Best one was late at night, in the dark, watching as a thin electric-looking line zapped from one side of my head to the other, right in my line of sight. There was quite a bit of whooshing in my ears, it felt like my brain was floating, and my tinnitus jacked up, but it was nothing too awful.

No, what got me was right around day 10, all the pain came screaming back at me. It was an eye-opener, realizing how much it was helping. So I started taking it again, and will live with the near-daily naps.

CJ loves those naps. He knows when I usually crash and burn, herds me to bed, and then climbs on top to hold me down. He's figured out when I'm on my right side with a body pillow up close, there's like this sweet spot where the sheet forms a hammock. My leg makes for a nice pillow. He drops off into sleep quickly, and whether I sleep or not doesn't matter. He's happy, I'm resting, and it's comforting to have him there.

Granted, I usually sleep for about 45 minutes, but we all know his happiness is more important.

♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦

 

My new favorite picture. Y'all know my MIL was trying to steal my car, right? LOL

16 June 2024

 

CJ spends a good part of the night sleeping with me, usually draped across my hips and thighs, which tends to make my legs go numb. But, hey, he's a Good Boy and he picked me as  His Person, so I let him stay.

The night before last he stretched out near my side, using my body pillow for support. He was comfortable, I was comfortable, and we both fell asleep. I was also happy as hell because there's nothing like a warm kitty who wants nothing more than to be with you sleeping cuddled up close.

I'm not sure how long it was--an hour, maybe three--but I woke to the sound of a tiny, weird sounding meow. That was nothing new; both cats have soft meows unless they really want something, or are scared. I thought he might be having a bad dream, so I reached out to pet him.

Normally when I do, he lifts his head to look at me, even for just a second. But that night, he didn't move. I whispered his name, then said it louder, still petting him. No response.

Carefully, with a whole lot of trepidation, I set my hand on his side. I couldn't feel any movement. No soft rise and fall as he breathed, no tiny muscle twitches from the weight of my hand on him. 

I moved my hand to his chest. Not a thing. No breathing, and I couldn't feel a heartbeat. I pressed harder, still nothing.

So I stuck my finger under his nose, hoping to feel tiny puffs of warm air.

Nope.

So I did what any hopeful person would do. I started shaking him, speaking loudly, calling his name, begging him to wake up, despite the dread that he would not.

I shook harder.

Nada.

Finally, I reached for my glasses and half sat up, wondering what the hell I was going to do. I told him, "You're only a year old, CJ, come on."

My watch lit up, bathing his still body in dim light.

He lifted his head, looked at me like, HEY I AM SLEEPING HERE!, and then laid back down, dropping right back into the sleep I worked so hard to rouse him from.

"You," I said into the dark, "are a little shit."

meow.

16 March 2024

 

20 January 2020, the day I got this bike. About 8,000 miles and 12 pounds ago. Someone please come take those 12 pounds, please.

I skipped the meds last night, and for the first time in who knows when, the sleep fairy hasn't punched me in the face yet today. Am I tired? Yes. Could I fall asleep if I crawled back in bed? Also yes. But I don't feel like I will die if I don't take a nap.

Today was also not rainy (as it has been a whole lot lately) and not windy (last two days were awful) and wonderfully sunny, so after puttering around for a bit, I pulled on some bike shorts and headed out for a 100 mile ride.

I wish.

No, I intended to ride for an hour, which would have gotten me 15 miles a year ago. Today was slow, with a couple of breaks to assess how I really felt, and I ended it a little after 45 minutes and 10 miles. I know, your grandmother can ride faster than that and she dead...but I was happy enough with it.

I first stopped at the little park around the corner, somewhere around mile 5. I planned for just 2 minutes, enough to get a drink and check my HR, but then Rando Rider (who I see around all the time) pulled up and sat on the bench next to me. It's fine, it's not the first time, but he's Rando in my head because I don't know his name. His intent was to do the same thing I was, just a breather after his likely 18mph leisurely roll around town. He sat, grabbed his bottle, and then said, "Have you noticed how many people are out on bikes today? Other than me and you, they're all on those ebikes."

Now, I have several ebikes. I had no idea how he felt about them, but a lot of dedicated cyclists are still wallowing in the "that's cheating" pool.

And I had noticed. "Good for them," I said. "It's a nice day. Anything that gets them out on two wheels."

"Ayup." He slid his bottle back into the cage and got up. "I'm getting my fourteen year old one of those little folding ones. Get him pedaling before he's old enough to want a car."

And off he went. I admit, I was surprised. I expected him to grate against the ebike surge. But he took off too fast for me to tell him I have a small folding ebike in my garage I'd sell him for cheap.

Another minute, and off I went, too. I had a running commentary in my head, mostly noting all the work people had done in the yards, swapping grass for rock and plants, wondering how much that cost because damn they looked good. There's also a high chance that the commentary wasn't all him my head and I talked out loud to myself, but hey. Who cares.

Just before my final loop of the neighborhood I approached a 2 way stop sign, and coming up to it on the sidewalk was a little boy and his dad on their bikes. I could see easily that no one was coming, and normally I'd slow but not stop, but I did this time because...little kids. "See?" Dad said. "People DO stop on bikes at the sign."

Glad my gut was right and I didn't blow through it.

(No, I don't blow through stop signs. I slow, I balance, I wait. But I rarely need to put a foot down unless there's traffic.)

Next up: pulling all the bikes out of the garage to clean up, lube the chains, charge any batteries...and then put most of them up for sale. I don't need that many, I can't ride that many, and I realllllly want to make space for the One True Bike. 

Cross your fingers weaning off the meds is the answer...I have the Great Cycle Challenge in September and would really like to not cry my way through it.

13 March 2024

Blowing a little dust off the blog...

 Ok, so what's 4 months of silence amongst friends? I truly did not intend to let it go this long; there were a whole bunch of days when I opened the computer intending to write, but then things happened and nothing writery happened. So it goes.

I mentioned back in July that we had a new doctor who was taking my chronic pain seriously; she prescribed generic Cymbalta, which should play around with all the gunk in my brain and over time provide some relief, especially for my back pain. And it did--I'm guessing it's soothed about 90% of some specific radiating pain (though not the actual spine itself, where the pain is generated) which is enough that I could get back to doing the normal fun things I enjoy.

Problem is, there are side effects. Most of those went away within  couple weeks, but the sleepiness...oh, man, has that stuck around. I sleep well at night--a total victory for a chronic insomniac--but 3-4 hours after I get up in the morning, a vicious sleep fairy sneaks in an full on face punches me with fists fill with sleepy dust, and I find myself crawling back into bed. 

It's like there's no choice; I either go back to bed or fall asleep in my chair.

In the first weeks after we brought the cats home, that was fine. They were little and liked to plop down on top of me and nap for long stretches, so I slept then, too. Now they're full sized cats and while they still like to sleep with me, they're not an excuse for nap time. 

I'm drained all the time. I'm barely working--I've been playing with a manuscript for 4 months and have only gotten 40 pages into it, where normally I'd be done with the vomit draft--I can't read a book without falling asleep, I can't surf online for long, and I especially have not been riding the way I want. 

I love naps, but not when the sleepiness is keeping my from real life.

So, yeah, I need to contact the doc and see about weaning off the drug. I would honestly rather have the back pain than not function at all.

I'm still on Facebook every day, so you can catch me there if you miss me ;)

♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦

The cats...

There's my big regret in not blogging. They grew so fast, from fluffballs to Real Cats a whole lot sooner than I would have likes. CJ is a big boy, long and tall and about 12 pounds; Ozzy is more petite, she feels tiny in your hands though she hit 10 pounds this week. He turned into a momma's boy and she's a daddy's girl...they picked their people and that's it. We didn't get to vote.

They love each other most of the time and spend an insane number of hours chasing and picking on each other. She takes no chit from him, despite how much bigger he is. But she will let him chase her all over the house, the definitive Thundering Herd of Elephants game, and it's not unusual to see him streak past with her hot on his tail.

He's super affectionate with me; she sometimes allows us to pick her up for a quick snuggle. Though, if I'm in my recliner, she jumps up, makes me lie back, and she crawls on top of me to purr. It just has to be on her terms.

 

 

They even work together every night to hunt the elusive toe mice that live under the blanket.

♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦

I'm going to make better efforts to keep up here. I miss blogging, I miss the comments, I miss having old posts to go back and moan about what a moron I am. Hopefully, I'll be more awake when I do...