13 November 2022

He's been gone 2 years, today. Which means Buddah has been gone 2 years, 5 weeks. Yes, I'm still keeping track. I will for a few more years, I think. I miss them horribly, still, and I don't think you ever get over the loss of your heart pets. 

I had pets before these two: Ataturk, Dusty, Hank, and I loved the hell out of them and miss them, too, but there was something about Max and Buddah. Their loss has been like recovering from a sword wound to the gut. There's a massive scar and it's probably always going to hurt.

So no, I won't get over it. But I think I did get through it. While I'm still grieving, I am inching ever closer to wanting 2 more cats. And yes, it would definitely be 2 right off the bat, because I am never again going through what we went through with adding Buddah to the mix when Max was pushing 4 years old.

I'll never know if it would have gone better had Max not gotten so sick from whatever URI Buddah brought into the apartment, but there's no denying that for a long time it was not good, and Max suffered for it. I'm hoping that getting litter mates or a bonded pair will help.

Then again, I also want a dog.

I thought Butters' loss would push me away from that; granted, it made those 5 weeks even worse, but oddly, where I was in this "well, it might be cool" kind of place for the last few months, now it's more like, "for sure I want one, if we come across the right dog at the right time."

The right time won't be until after the holidays, but still.

Butters was a wonderful dog, and I want that in my life again. I want another Hank, a goofy, sweet, loving soul who wants nothing more out of life than happy walks, and treats, pets, and attention.

But...yeah.

Today marks 2 years since Max died, and I hope he's getting the Bridge Party he deserves. 

And hopefully I can get back to blogging happier thoughts...I swear, my life is not wrapped around pets no longer here. I mean, it's a whole lot of Animal Crossing and bikes, but in the grand scheme of things, that's pretty decent. I just need to add in a little more actual work, because there are 2 shorts I need to get online, and then a book to polish.