2 June 2015

I’m taking the pressure off my poor brain. While I have enough donors lined up, people willing to get me to the $1800 minimum to participate in the Avon Walk, I think I’m just going to play it safe and back out. While there’s no flying involved and I could just walk a few miles a day, the truth is that I have an ego and once I hit my max number of miles in a day, if I felt good I would push on. I wouldn’t be walking with anyone who could grab me and remind me there’s no prize at the end for total number of miles walked and no glory in being stupid.

And even though there’s no flying, there is travel: I would have to make the drive back home on Sunday, after walking probably more than I should, on sleep I likely wouldn’t get, and who knows what I would be able to eat all weekend. It just kept feeling like a bad idea all the way around. I don’t always act intelligently; I know I would try to push hard, and I don’t know what the end result would be. I don't want the end result to be me wrapping my car around a post on the Bay Bridge, or worse, taking out someone else.

But.

BUT.

I was planning to spend money on airfare to and a hotel room in Philly, plus a hotel room in SF, and if I’m not going to go to those places, I can still make use of those funds.

I’ll do the final math and split it among my team mates. At least then I’ll feel like I’m still doing something for the walk events, and less like a little kid not being allowed to go play. And there’s the tax deduction…I will totally use it as a tax deduction.

By taking both of those off the table entirely, my focus can be on getting myself into better shape; I’m getting there. Some weight has come off, my endurance is up, and I have energy.

Today (first day back in the pool after a week of not going, thanks to ear pair from a wonderful case of swimmer’s ear…the doc said I could swim if I wanted but I really didn’t want to while it hurt) I utilized some of the advice my endocrinologist gave me last week and added just 7 almonds to my breakfast and then took with me to the gym some Powerade that was 50% regular and 50% zero calorie, and at the end of the hour in the pool I didn’t feel drained and didn’t feel like my blood sugar was spiraling down.

Progress, I hope.

Also hoping the additional calories don’t trip up my weight loss. I brought that up with her and got a lecture about focusing on a number on the scale, to just focus on staying as active as I am and eating sensible food and enough protein…which I mostly agree with. I’m just tired of being this flabby and would really like to not have 3 chins when I look down.

She’s right, but…

LOL I am still weighing myself.

So. TL;DR: for sure not walking Avon either, will donate my travel money, and will focus on health this year.

I know…broken record, broken record.

If you want to donate, please consider donating to my team mates. It's tax deductible!