22 November 2013

From a friend, no context, no explanation, but worth sharing (and done so with permission...)

…in all those warnings from so-called friends about the “gay lifestyle” and how it meant drugs and promiscuity and heartache, I always wondered why, and how did their kids fall into that. Not being gay, but that “lifestyle.” But then my 14 year old son brought home his first boyfriend, and I realized something: he had no fear because he’s known his entire life that whomever he had a crush on, whomever he dated, whomever he fell in love with, we not only would accept it, we would cherish the person who cared that much about him. Our expectations, the things we’ve taught our children, are of respect, kindness, and family. Do I worry? Yes, I worry he’ll get his heart broken, even though I realistically know that will happen a time or two. But I don’t worry about that “lifestyle” because he knows the love he has here isn’t conditional; he knows he is free to be himself, love whom he loves, and we won’t bat an eye. He’s been raised to believe in commitment and family, but he’s also been raised to know that we don’t have the right or the will to define for him how that future family takes shape. We hold him to the same rules as his siblings: the curfew, the meeting of friends’ and potential dates families, the not sneaking around, the general obeying of the rules of the house. And the first rule of this house is that we love first, ask questions later, and the end result is, I hope, that there will be no drugs, no promiscuity, and the only heartache will come from the pains of growing up and having crushes and first loves. It won’t be because he’s gay…