There I was, in bed and mostly asleep. The house was dark except for the odd lights glowing from nearly every damned electrical thing in the room, but it was still dark, and I'm used to those lights. Other than Max, and Buddah, I'm the only one home.
It was quiet.
Then the light in my office popped on, flooding the hallway with bright light, which spilled glaringly into the bedroom.
I sat up sharply, uttering, "What the fuck?" as I scrambled out of bed.
Sorry, but when presented with sudden light at 12:30 at night, I have a potty mouth.
I'm not stupid; I didn't automatically assume there was someone in the house. If there was, and it wasn't the Spouse Thingy trying to slip in quietly because he'd gotten sick at work or something and had to come home, then it was someone new at home invasion.
At least, I don't think the average burglar turns on lights by which to see what he's doing.
I wouldn't have given it a second thought if the light turned on via a wall switch. Max has, in the past, demonstrated an irritating ability to flip light switches. While I admire the talent, I do not when it gets flipped in the middle of the night.
The wall switch in my office is blocked by a lamp. One, because the overhead light went Zzzzzzt when turned on a while back and began to emit an awful smell, and it hasn't yet been fixed. And two...things need to be kept in front of wall switches to keep Max from playing at 3 a.m.
You know the kind that required fingers to operate, and ideally opposable thumbs.
Max simply can't turn this light on.
Yet, it was suddenly on, and I was scrambling out of bed. I looked into the office and he was stretched out on the tower, and started bitching at me as soon as he saw me.
I turned the light off.
I turned it back on.
Lather, rinse, repeat.
The lamp works; it was off when I went to bed. There are no signs of anything nefarious happening. Both cats--other than Max bitching me out--were relaxed so I know there are no gremlins running around here, getting into things.
So how did the damn light turn itself on?
And more importantly, how long am I going to be awake? Because there's no way in hell I'm going back to bed for a while...