Friday

6 May 2011

Last night I walked past my office and noted that Max was curled up on my desk chair, contorted into one of those weird positions that only cats seem to find comfortable; head resting on one paw, back twisted, belly up, two other paws sticking straight out to the side and the last paw almost pointing up, but not quite.

I wondered how the hell he could sleep like that, but hey, whatever works for him.

An hour later he was still there, still in the same position.

Two hours later, as I was heading back to go to bed, he was still there. He hadn't moved. So I stood there and watched, looking to see his chest or belly rise and fall with each breath...only nothing was moving.

I waited a little longer, still nothing.

I stepped into the room, not quietly, and he didn't so much as twitch, and I could feel dread beginning to pool around me. He's ten years old, he's seriously fat, he's not breathing, this is not good.

So I decided to out my hand on his chest, hoping to feel what I couldn't see. And people, my fingers barely brushed his fur when he jumped like I had shot him; he rolled over onto his back, glaring at me, and began meowing in what I can only assume was a string of expletives regarding my parentage, my brains, and the odors surrounding me that displease him.


Oh yeah, he looked a lot more annoyed than that.

I thought about offering him some crunchy treats by way of apology, but when he was done cussing me out he stretched and rolled over facing away from me.

I only feel bad about laughing when he jumped.

13 comments:

Cheysuli and gemini said...

Well that was good for a laugh. I've done that to Chey only she's not quite as contorted AND I knew she was breathing...

Lone Star Purrs said...

I just about wet myself trying NOT to laugh!! I have done that myself a time or two....with almost the same reaction from the cats.
~LSP Momma Becca

Wendell said...

What is Max weighing these days? I noticed he stopped posting his stats on his blog.
Wendell was between 14-15 at his last weigh in and is also almost 10 years old. But he's big boned!
(Seriously, the other cats I'm watching, they're overweight but I can fit their whole heads in my hand. Can't do that with Big W.)

Terri said...

Just too dang funny. I notice he didn't give the chair back.

kenju said...

I would love to have seen that!!

Angel and Kirby said...

I know it was funny! It is amazing how sound they can sleep at times and in such weird positions!

Derby, Ducky said...

Let sleeping cats alone!

Camie's Kitties said...

I feel bad that Max got woken up, but that must have been hilarious. Gracie sleeps like the dead too, and meows anytime I reach over to pet her. Cody of course is never comfortable enough or trusting enough to sleep deeply in front of me.

Tara

Carmi said...

I could almost feel your fear as you walked up to him. Please remind me why we have pets again?

:)

Jan Scholl said...

OMG! I do the same thing to my hubby when he is sleeping-especially if he isn't snorting or sniffing in his sleep. He will wake up and look at me like-what? I lie and tell him the stars are nicer on this side of the house because there is no glare from the yard light. Men...and cats are stoopid sometimes.

The Furry Bambinos said...

Sleeping in the same position for that long is unheard of - I can totally relate! Yes, I have gotten close to sleeping kittehs here, but they wake up when I get close enough to poke them.

Mom Sue to The Furry Bambinos

The Whiskeratti said...

Poor Max. The stuff we make our cats put up with!

Monty Graycat said...

I like to sleep on my back, with my eyes half open and my tongue sticking out. When Mommy first got me, she had many mini heart attacks thinking I was dead until she realized I am just a silly sleeper.