31 August 2010

How to turn 49:

The day before, go check out a Dave & Busters, be really disappointed in it, so instead wander around a mall you've never been to.

It'll be cool. Really. Much bigger than your local mall.

Then, do something you've always wanted to do. Like, go see the Golden Gate Bridge. Walk on it. Then go into the gift shop to get a sweatshirt that actually fits...

Then go see other things. Like Union Square. And Pier 39. and express incredible disappointment that there's a sign forbidding anyone to get on that giant macaroni noodle, because you realy really wanted to sit on it ;)

Then, go to a flea market:

Spend the day walking around, looking at other peoples' crap, but chances are, you won't find any fleas...

Then...go to Six Flags.

Walk around all day, but take the time to see the tigers...even if they do get a little dramatic and lie prostrate on the ground, as if wailing No...stop taking my picture...! and one of the coolest parts of the day will be seeing two baby tigers, and then two grown ones playing Thundering Herd of Elephants.

Oh, and when you caually say "It would be really cool if he got into the water" while sitting there looking at a beautiful tiger, and he gets up and gets in the water, your day will totally be made.

Next, go to San Francsico. To avoid the driving nightmare of having been there to see the Golden Gate Bridge, take the BART train in, even though it smells like pee.

First order of business: walk. Walk and walk and walk. Up the biggest damn hill you've ever walked. Keep walking, until you've gone halfway across San Francisco and are at the Wharf.

Finally get to see Ghiradelli Square...

See all kinds of unique people...

Then walk some more so that you can catch a cable car back to where you were:

...because you've never ridden one before, and if you're going to do the tourist thing, you have to ride it at least once.

Then walk around a whole lot more. See the big mall. See the people. Take the BART train back, even though it still smells like pee.

Oh, and don't do all of this in one day. Not possible. At least not advisable.

Do it all...it'll make turning 49 fun. Or at least take the sting out if it.